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DAMASCUS 6'2m2f Paul's blindness is cured by Ananias

GOD -- (voiceover) Ananias... Ananias...

ANANIAS -- (enters, looks around) Who's here? Is somebody here?

GOD -- Ananias...

ANANIAS -- Oh, oh. (kneels) Listen, Lord, I can explain.... 

GOD -- ...Ananias...

ANANIAS -- It was just a friendly little poker game. That's all 
it was....

GOD -- ...Ananias...

ANANIAS -- ...Alright, so we had a little beer too...

GOD -- Hey! Ananias!

ANANIAS -- Yes, Lord?

GOD -- Take a breath, will you?! I have something to tell 
you.

ANANIAS -- Oh, sure, Lord. Sorry.

GOD -- Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a 
man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he 
has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to 
restore his sight.

ANANIAS -- Lord, I have heard many reports about this man and 
all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has 
come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all 
who call on your name.

GOD -- Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name 
before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of 
Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.

ANANIAS -- Listen, Lord, I don't know how to tell you this. But 
I think you're talking to the wrong Ananias. See, I'm no good 
with confrontation. I even have trouble standing up to my 
wife...

GOD -- Hey!

ANANIAS -- Yes, Lord?

GOD -- What part of GO don't you understand?!

ANANIAS -- I'm going, Lord. I'm going. It's a real pleasure to 
serve you, Lord, even though this isn't exactly my cup of tea.

GOD -- Hey! Get off your knees and go!

ANANIAS -- (stands) Oh, sure. Thanks, Lord. (turns to opposite 
exit)

WIFE -- (enters) Who are you talking to?

ANANIAS -- (turns) Honey, you're not going to believe this! I 
was just talking to God!

WIFE -- God? You mean, our Lord God, Jehovah?

ANANIAS -- The very one! 

WIFE -- What were you talking to him about?

ANANIAS -- He wants YOU to go heal some guy's blindness. 
(points to opposite exit)

WIFE -- Nice try.

ANANIAS -- What, you don't believe me?

WIFE -- No. I don't have the spiritual gift of healing. You do. 
So, why are you so afraid that you would send a woman in your 
place?

ANANIAS -- The guy I'm supposed to heal is Saul of Tarsus.

WIFE -- Saul of Tarsus? I didn't know he was blind.

ANANIAS -- I didn't either. But I guess God blinded him to get 
his attention.

WIFE -- Well, if the Lord told you to go, you'd better go.

ANANIAS -- (kneels begs) Please don't make me go! Saul of Tarsus 
eats people like me for lunch.

WIFE -- Alright, you big baby, I'll go with you. Where is he?

ANANIAS -- He's right here in Damascus, right over here at 
Judas' house on Straight Street. (points to opposite exit)

WIFE -- (pulls Ananias' arm) Let's go.

ANANIAS -- (stands) Oh, alright. But if he kills me, I'll never 
speak to you again! (they begin crossing)

WIFE -- The Lord would never ask you to do something he doesn't 
equip you to do.

(Saul and Woman enter opposite, slowly arm-in-arm)

ANANIAS -- Oh, oh. (hides behind Wife) I forgot something.

WIFE -- What did you forget?

ANANIAS -- (whispers loudly) I have to do the dishes. (points 
over shoulder)

WIFE -- You haven't done the dishes since we've been married. 
What's wrong?

ANANIAS -- See that guy with Judas' wife?

WIFE -- Yes.

ANANIAS -- That's him. That's Saul of Tarsus.

WIFE -- Good. You can heal him and then we can go home and you 
can do the dishes.

ANANIAS -- Do you think he saw me?

WIFE -- No. I'm sure he didn't.

ANANIAS -- How can you be so sure?

WIFE -- He's blind remember?

ANANIAS -- Oh, yes, yes, of course.

SAUL -- (reaching in Ananias' direction, shouts) Ananias!? Is 
that you?

ANANIAS -- (peeking from behind Wife) I thought you said he 
couldn't see me! Now my goose is cooked!

WIFE -- He can't see you if he's blind! Maybe the Lord told him 
you were coming. (shouts) Yes, Saul, Ananias is here!

ANANIAS -- Why don't you shout a little louder!? Some of the 
people on the east side of Damascus didn't hear you.

SAUL -- Ananias, have you come to heal my blindness as the Lord 
told me?

WIFE -- Yes.
ANANIAS -- No.

SAUL -- Well, which is it?

WIFE -- Yes.
ANANIAS -- No.

WIFE -- My husband is afraid to heal your blindness for fear you 
will throw him in jail.

SAUL -- Oh, Ananias, you may rest assured I have seen the light.

ANANIAS -- See, I told you this was a hoax. He's not blind. He
can see the light.

WIFE -- That's a figure of speech. He's trying to tell you that 
he's repented of his sins and turned to the Lord for salvation.
Now go lay hands on him and heal him! (struggles with Ananias)

ANANIAS -- Well, alright. (sigh, crosses to Saul timidly, speaks 
aloud) Brother Saul, the Lord--Jesus, who appeared to you on the 
road as you were coming here--has sent me so that you may see 
again and be filled with the Holy Spirit. (lays hands on Saul's 
head) Heal. (backs away quick)

SAUL -- (shouts) I can see! I can see!

ANANIAS -- (points to Wife) She did it. I'm completely innocent.

SAUL -- (hugs Ananias) Oh, Ananias, thank you for allowing 
yourself to be used by the Lord!

ANANIAS -- (like a rag doll) Sure. Nothing to it.

SAUL -- Now that I am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, will 
you go down to the river with me?

ANANIAS -- (breaks away, backs away, runs behind Wife) Save me! 
He wants to drown me.

WIFE -- He's not going to drown you. He wants you to baptize 
him.

ANANIAS -- Baptize him. Oh, sure. I knew that. (out from behind 
Wife) I was just kidding. I'm a big kidder. (grabs Saul's, exits 
with him) Right this way. One baptism coming right up. Take it 
from a real pro, Saul baby, the Lord will never ask you to do 
anything that he doesn't equip you to do.

WIFE -- (follows) Is there an echo in here?

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