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CRIPPLED 5'3m1f Jesus heals on the sabbath

(scene: two chairs L, two chairs R)

RULER -- (enters, crosses toward opposite chairs, fingers 
interlock, pious expression)

JUNIOR - (follows running) Hey, Pops, guess who's coming to 
town!

RULER -- (turns, whispers angrily) Junior!

JUNIOR - (skids to a stop) Yeah, Pops?

RULER -- Where are you standing?

JUNIOR - (looks around, quizzical look) I'm in the synagogue, Pops.

RULER -- And what day is this?

JUNIOR - Oh, I forgot. It's the sabbath. Sorry, Pops. 
(interlocks fingers, solemn face)

RULER -- And don't call me Pops! I'm the synagogue ruler!

JUNIOR - Oh, sorry, Pops. I mean, Dad... Father. (solemn face)

RULER -- That's better.

JUNIOR - I don't know why we always have to be sour pusses on 
the sabbath, p... Father.

RULER -- We're not sour pusses! We're pious.

JUNIOR - Pious. (wrinkles face) Pious sour pusses.

RULER -- (raises hand) 

JUNIOR - Sorry, P... Father. (smiles) But did you hear who's 
coming to town?

RULER -- Jesus of Nazareth, who calls himself the messiah.

JUNIOR - How did you know?

RULER -- I'm the synagogue ruler. It's my job to know. 

JUNIOR - Oh.

RULER -- Besides, he sent someone to me to ask me if Jesus could 
speak in my synagogue today.

JUNIOR - Oh, great!! (pious) I mean, oh, how nice. 

RULER -- He'd better not pull any of his stunts in MY synagogue. 
(sits)

JUNIOR - (sits) What do you mean?

RULER -- At another synagogue, he singled out a group of 
Pharisees and call them snakes.

JUNIOR - Serves them right.

RULER -- What?!

JUNIOR - (pious) I said, imagine that.

JESUS -- (enters sits)

RULER -- (stands, addresses audience) Ladies and gentlemen, may 
I present a visiting rabbi from Nazareth. His name is Jesus Son 
of Joseph.

JESUS -- (stands, crosses to C) 

RULER -- The opinions expressed by our guest speaker in no way 
reflects the opinions of the management of this synagogue. 
Rabbi? (sits)

JESUS -- Thank you, Rabbi. (steps to podium)

WOMAN -- (enters very slowly, struggles to sit, all bent over in 
obvious pain)

RULER -- That woman is always late.

JUNIOR - Well, what do you expect, Pops? She's all crippled up.

RULER -- Don't call me Pops!

JUNIOR - Sorry, Pops.

JESUS -- (addresses audience) A man had a fig tree, planted in 
his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not 
find any. So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 
'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this 
fig tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use 
up the soil?' 'Sir,' the gardener replied, 'leave it alone for 
one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it. If it 
bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.' (slices 
his hand toward Ruler)

RULER & JUNIOR -- (lurch)

JUNIOR - Cool, huh, Pops?!

RULER -- Who does he think he is?

JUNIOR - He's the son of God, Pops.

RULER -- (raises hand)

JUNIOR - (pious) Allegedly, the son of God.

JESUS -- (crosses slowly to Woman) Woman, come forward.

WOMAN -- (struggles forward) Rabbi, I am not worthy of your 
attention. Eighteen years ago, against the wishes of my parents, 
I dabbled in Oejie boards and Tarrot cards. Since that time I 
have been possessed by a demon.

JESUS -- (hands on Woman's head) Woman, you are set free from 
your infirmity.

WOMAN -- (straightens, raises arms) Praise God, I am whole 
again! (sinks to knees) Praise God!

JUNIOR - Cool, huh, Pops?!

RULER -- (stands) This is an outrage!

JUNIOR - Cool your jets, Pops! He just exorcised a demon from 
that woman.

RULER -- Quiet, Junior! 

JUNIOR - (pious) Sorry, Father.

RULER -- (crosses to Jesus) Woman, there are six days for
work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath!

JESUS -- You hypocrite! 

RULER -- Who are you calling a hypocrite?!

JESUS -- Don't you on the Sabbath untie your ox or donkey from 
the stall and lead it out to give it water? 

RULER -- Well, yes, of course, but...

JESUS -- Then should not this woman, (helps Woman to stand) a 
daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long 
years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?" 
(exits arm around woman)

RULER -- Well, I.... Get out of my synagogue!

JUNIOR - (stands, crosses to Ruler, smiling) I guess you showed 
him, huh, Pops?

RULER -- (Exiting past Junior in a huff) Shut up, Junior!

JESUS -- (follows, interlocking fingers, mock piety) Father, 
please, we're in the synagogue and this is the Sabbath. 

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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