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CIRCUMCI 3'2m0f Two teenagers witness Jesus' circumcision

WAYNE -- (Enters, looks around, waves Garth in, whispers) There 
they are. (points at opposite exit)

GARTH -- (Enters, whispers) You're gonna get us into trouble, 
Wayne.

WAYNE -- (half whisper) It'll be a piece of cake, Garth.

GARTH -- But Gentiles are not allowed in this part of the 
temple, Wayne.

WAYNE -- Trust me, I know what I'm doing, Garth. If we just look 
like we belong here, nobody will say nothin'.

GARTH -- Wayne, all the men are wearing those little tiny hats. 
They're gonna kick us out if we're not wearing one of those 
little tiny hats.

WAYNE -- (looking both ways) They're called yamulkas, Garth. 

GARTH -- How do you know?

WAYNE -- (returning to exit) I know all kinds of stuff. (exits) 
Here's a box a full of yamulkas! (reenters, wearing skull cap, 
offers cap to Garth) See, I told you, Garth. There's nothing to 
worry about.

GARTH -- (puts on cap, poses) How do I look in my new yamaka, 
Wayne?

WAYNE -- (laughs too loud) Like a dork. (chuckles, covers mouth, 
ducks slightly)

GARTH -- (whispers, ducks behind Wayne) Shshshsh. Somebody is 
coming.

MAN ---- (enters, crosses upstage, exits without noticing boys)

WAYNE -- (Stands tall, pulls up Garth, whispers) It's okay, just 
act natural. (aloud) So, I was saying to the rabbi, rabbi, I 
said...

GARTH -- I didn't know you knew a rabbi, Wayne. 

WAYNE -- (pounds Garth's shoulder) You are such a dork, Garth. 

GARTH -- You always hit me in the same shoulder. What did I do?

WAYNE -- (moves toward opposite exit) Okay, he's gone. Follow 
me.

GARTH -- (stays put, rubs shoulder) I still don't know what 
we're doing here, Wayne. And I don't think you know either.

WAYNE -- (returns to Garth) Yes, I do. We're here for the 
circumcision of the Christ child. (moves toward exit)

GARTH -- (stays put) Oh! The circumcision! Well, why didn't you 
say so? (pauses) Wayne?

WAYNE -- (eyeing offstage events, whispers) Yeah.

GARTH -- What's a circumcision?

WAYNE -- (returns to Garth) It's a thing they do eight days 
after he's born. (moves towards exit)

GARTH -- (stays put) Oh! (scratches head, pauses) Wayne?

WAYNE -- (whispers) Yeah. 

GARTH -- What thing do they do?

WAYNE -- (returns to Garth) You know the Jewish ceremony. And 
one thing I'm sure about is that the circumcision of Jesus will 
undoubtedly make it into the Bible. And I want to be able to 
tell the guys back home that we saw it.

GARTH -- So, what is a circumcision, Wayne? I'm not gonna have 
to sing, am I? Because I don't sing so good.

WAYNE -- Naw, if they sing. You just move your mouth. Nobody 
will know.

GARTH -- What if everybody has to get up and read from the 
scroll, Wayne? I don't know how to read Hebrew.

WAYNE -- Don't worry, Garth. This ceremony is for a baby. He 
can't understand Hebrew either.

GARTH -- So, what do you suppose they do in there, Wayne?

WAYNE -- Well, let's see... CIRCUM is like circle, so it means 
around something. And CISION is like incision. It means to cut. 
So, circumcision must mean to cut around something.

GARTH -- Oh, I get it! They're giving the kid his first haircut!

WAYNE -- (moving to exit) Yeah, maybe. (whispers) Shshshsh. 
quiet. The ceremony has already started. Remember, just look 
like you belong here.

GARTH -- (moves toward exit, whispers) He's using a knife, 
Wayne, not a scissors. What kind of a haircut is that?

WAYNE -- (whispers) It's not the hair that they're gonna cut, 
Garth.

GARTH -- (whispers) You don't think they're going to cut his... 
(backs away from exit, holding stomach, turns) Oh, I think I'm 
going to be sick.

WAYNE -- (follows) Garth! You're supposed act natural. You're 
supposed to look like you belong here! Remember?

GARTH -- (exiting) I don't think I belong here, Wayne. (Vomits 
loudly from offstage)

WAYNE -- (backs toward ceremony, points over shoulder) Garth! 
Where are you going? The circumcision is....

GARTH -- (vomits loudly)

WAYNE -- (turning to ceremony) The big sissy. (backs away) Oh, man, they 
really are going to cut his... (holds stomach, covers mouth, 
runs to exit, vomits aloud)

GARTH -- (backs onstage, holding stomach) Well, at least we 
didn't have to sing. (looks over shoulder, exits again)

BOTH --- (vomit aloud)


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