WANTADS  2'1m?f What Biblical want ads would have looked like

Roommate wanted to share plush garden and all-you-can-eat salad
bar rent-free with blind SWM. Must be good judge of fruit. Will
trade rib. Call Adam before sabbath.

Wanted: Man without family values to trade his birthright for a
bowl of lentil stew. Call Jacob aka Israel.

Must Sell! Seven brothers will sell boy slave at big discount.
Will make excellent scape goat. Don't call when papa is home.

Missing Reward: Handsome young Pharaoh and large army. Last seen 
in gold chariot near Red Sea. Respond in person at palace, as 
plagues have wiped out postal service.

Missing Reward: 600,000 male slaves with women and children.
Last seen near Red Sea. If seen, do not approach. Leader's
walking stick has fangs.

Reward: for information leading to arrest and conviction of
trumpet players responsible for vandalizing city walls. Call
Jericho police.

Help Wanted: experienced construction worker to add on bed 
rooms for all my wives and concubines. Should be handy, but 
not too handy. Prefer eunuch. Call Solomon at the palace. 

Help wanted: 300 men to battle a quarter million Midianites and
Amalekites. Experience not required. Common sense could be a
hindrance. Call Gideon.

Help wanted: hand maiden to do light housekeeping for my wife and
to bear a child for me. Ideal job for someone not needing job
security. Call Abraham or my sister Sarah.

Lost reward: body of Jesus of Nazareth disappeared from tomb. If
you are sure of its location, your reward is eternal life.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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