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REWARDS  6'2m?f Redeeming good deeds for rewards in Heaven

(door opens, bell tinkles, door closes)

FRED -- (shouts) Hello! Is anyone here?

JOHN -- (approaching) Hi, sorry to keep you waiting, sir. They 
usually call ahead when they send someone over from the 
pearly gates. (near) Welcome to the Redemption Center. May I 
help you?

FRED -- Yeah, ah, is this where I trade in my lifetime of good 
works for eternal rewards in heaven?

JOHN -- It sure is! And, boy, are you going to love it here in 
Heaven, sir! You like to sing? You like to dance?

FRED -- Well, sure, I....

JOHN -- Everybody here in heaven sings right on key and 
everybody dances like King David himself. You play the piano?

FRED -- Well, no, I....

JOHN -- Well relax. Everybody who wants to play the piano here 
can sit down and play a Mozart Concerto flawlessly on the first 
try. Oh, and you should see the houses here, sir.

FRED -- Yeah, I really would love to....

JOHN -- Every house in heaven is a mansion. The Bible didn't 
exaggerate one bit, all mansions are built with gold inlays and 
precious stones. And, of course, you know your neighbors will be 
nice. They're all Christians. (laughs)

FRED -- (laughs nervously) Yeah, I'm really looking forward to 
it.

JOHN -- So, let me have your name.

FRED -- My name.

JOHN -- Yes, I need to look up your record.

FRED -- But that's a computer. I thought my record was in the 
book of life.

JOHN -- Oh, it is. The book of life is now on CD-ROM for faster 
access.

FRED -- I see.

JOHN -- Yes, we just enter your name and the computer looks up 
your good works on earth, then it prints out the authorization 
for your rewards in heaven. Oh, wait till you see them: rewards 
beyond your wildest dreams! So, may I have your name?

FRED -- Ah, yeah, my name is Fred Nillman.

(computer keyboard clicks)

JOHN -- Is that Nillman with two L's, sir?

FRED -- Ah, yeah. Two L's.

JOHN -- Okay, and faster that the twinkling of an eye, your 
records comes up here on the screen.... Oh, Mr Nillman, I'm very 
impressed!

FRED -- Oh, thank you, it was nothing, really.

JOHN -- Oh, yes, it was, Mr Nillman. You were a very busy boy on 
Earth. Look here: six short term missionary trips to third world 
countries. I see here that you gave liberally to charities.

FRED -- ...Christian charities mostly. Does it say that?

JOHN -- Yes, almost every donation was to a Christians charity. 
Not only that, but you were also a Sunday school teacher.

FRED -- At two different churches. Does it list both churches?

JOHN -- Why, yes, it does, Mr Nillman. You were also on the fund 
raising committees for two church building projects. And it 
says here that you regularly visited people in the hospital and 
read to the blind. Very impressive, Mr Nillman.

FRED -- Anything there about the number of people I invited to 
church?

JOHN -- Yes, it says here that over the years you invited 37 
people to go to church with you and many of them became church 
members. Well, Mr Nillman, that is quite an impressive array of 
good works for just one man.

FRED -- Thank you. I tried very hard. So, ah, what kind of 
rewards do I get in heaven for all my hard work?

(computer keyboard clicks)

JOHN -- Well, let's punch that up. Uh huh. It says here that 
such deeds entitle you to one of the largest mansions here in 
heaven, one of our most expensive cars, membership to the most 
exclusive country club with unlimited use of the facilities, 
unlimited spending at one of our most exclusive clothing stores 
and best of all, unlimited access to the King of Kings and Lord 
of Lords.

FRED -- No kidding! Well, how do I collect all these goodies?

(computer keyboard clicks)

JOHN -- We'll just print out the authorization and you can take 
it with you to the.... Well, what's going on here?

FRED -- What's the matter?

(computer keyboard clicks)

JOHN -- I can't seem to get the computer to print out your 
authorization. And you can't collect your rewards without it. 
What is going on here?

FRED -- Is there a problem?

JOHN -- Oh, oh.

FRED -- There is a problem, isn't there?

JOHN -- Mr Nillman, who sent you here to the redemption center?

FRED -- Why, noone. There was a long line waiting at the pearl 
gates, so I just stepped out of line and came over here. Why?

JOHN -- Mr Nillman, your rewards here in Heaven are all 
predicated on the fact that you're a Christian.

FRED -- Well, if your saying I'm not a Christian, you're wrong. 
I AM a Christian. I go to church every Sunday. I say grace 
before every meal. I know that Jesus Christ is the son of 
God....

JOHN -- Mr Nillman, even the devil knows that Jesus Christ is 
the son of God. The problem here is that the book of life says 
that you never surrendered your life to the Lord Jesus Christ.

FRED -- Well, I can do that.

JOHN -- But, you didn't.

FRED -- I can do it. I can do it now.

JOHN -- Mr Nillman, can I have you just step back two steps 
there.

FRED -- Step back. Two steps? (fading) Like this? One. Two.

JOHN -- Good. Now, just step to the left about a half step.

FRED -- (afar) Oh, you want me right in the middle of this 
square here?

JOHN -- Yes. Uh huh.

FRED -- So, is this where I surrender my life to the Lord?

JOHN -- I'm afraid it's too late for that, Mr Nillman.

FRED -- Too late?! 

JOHN -- Mr Nillman, the book of life says you were given ample 
opportunity to surrender your life to the Lord while you were 
alive. But you didn't, so....

FRED -- But, what about my rewards?

JOHN -- This is your reward....

(latch sound, loud clank)

FRED -- (fading, echo) Wooooooooooooooo!

JOHN -- Have a nice eternity, Mr Nillman.


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