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FALSE    4'2m0f A false messiah comes to a radio station

(door open)

FRED -- Hi, are you the manager for this radio station?

ED --   Yes, I am.

FRED -- Then, you can announce me. I'm here.

ED --   And who would you be?

FRED -- Don't you recognize me? I'm him.

ED --   Him.

FRED -- The messiah, silly. So, here I am. You can announce my 
arrival now.

ED --   The Bible says that you will arrive the same way you 
departed.

FRED -- That is correct. And here I am.

ED --   And who saw you arrive?

FRED -- Nobody. I snuck in through the side door to avoid 
autograph hounds. You know how it is when you're famous.

ED --   But, you had several witnesses when you ascended into 
heaven. And you promised that when you descended from Heaven 
again, you'd have several witnesses.

FRED -- Oh that! I changed my mind.

ED --   Funny, you've never broken a single one of your promises 
before.

FRED -- Well, I'm the messiah. I can do anything I want. So, you 
can break into this program now and announce my arrival.

ED --   Not so fast fella!

FRED -- FELLA? Is that any way to address the son of God?

ED --   How do I know that you are really the son of God? So 
far, all I know about you is that you break your promises.

FRED -- Okay, you want proof? Go ahead and ask me how old I am.

ED --   Alright, how old are you?

FRED -- I'm older than the hills.

ED --   I'm not impressed.

FRED -- If I were not the messiah, would I know the names of 
places on earth when they were just getting started?  Would I 
know names like Mississippi Creek, the Mediterranean pond or the 
Himalaya foothills? Would I? I think not.

ED --   I'm still not impressed.

FRED -- I remember when the Red Sea was only pink. I remember 
when the Dead Sea was only sick.

ED --   Ho humm.

FRED -- Remember the great Sahara Forest?

ED --   The Sahara is a desert.

FRED -- Yeah, now!

ED --   Look, how do I know you're not just making up all these 
names?

FRED -- Because I not only created the world, I also created the 
universe. You know the Milky Way?

ED --   You mean the Milky Way galaxy?

FRED -- Yes. I remember when it was much thicker. I called it 
the Creamy Way.

ED --   That doesn't prove anythin...

FRED -- Just break into this radio show and let me make my 
announcement and I'll spare you from the lake of fire.

ED --   No.

FRED -- Aw, come on! Here, let me prove beyond the shadow of a 
doubt who I am. Let me write on your wall here, like I did for 
Joshua.

ED --   That was Daniel.

FRED -- Whatever, let me make my announcement.

ED --   Look, the Bible warns us that as the end times approach, 
several people will claim to be the messiah. I think you're a 
fake.

FRED -- Alright! Now you've gone and made me mad. Just for that, 
you get left behind when I take my flock home to heaven in the 
rapture.

ED --   Jesus said that I already have eternal life if I believe 
in him, which I do. And he also promised that NOONE can snatch 
me out of his hand.

FRED -- He said that? I mean, I said that?

ED --   Yes.

FRED -- Alright, then, you get to come too, but you have to ride 
in coach.

ED --   The first shall be last and the last shall be first.

FRED -- Why do yo keep quoting the Bible?

ED --   All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for 
teaching, rebuking and training in righteousness.

FRED -- Is that another Bible verse?

ED --   You ought to know. You wrote it.

FRED -- Oh, yeah, I remember now. The reason I forgot is I wrote 
it when I was doing two things at once. That's when I was also 
flooding the earth, after Abraham built the arc.

ED --   That was Noah.

FRED -- Noah. I meant Noah.

ED --   Out. Out.

FRED -- (fading) That was back when the Black Sea was just 
light grey.

ED --   Out! 

(door close)


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