DRIVTHRU 5'2m0f Drive thru christian counseling

RICHIE -- (Speaker) Hi, welcome to Counseling City, the world's 
first drive thru counseling center. May I help you?

TOM -- Hi, yes, I'd like to see a counselor.

RICHIE -- (Speaker) Good. My name is Richie and I'll be your 
counselor today. Will you be using any coupons?

TOM -- Coupons?

RICHIE -- (Phone rings, speaker voice) Excuse me, sir, there's 
the phone. Counseling City crisis prevention hotline, may I help 
you? Yes, we offer Bible oriented Christian counseling. One 
moment, please.

(Speaker with echo) Kareem, hotline one, please. Kareem, hotline 

(speaker) Thank you for waiting, sir, what can I help you with?

TOM -- Ah, I'd like the Bible Oriented Christian counseling.

RICHIE -- (speaker) Good, please drive forward to counseling bay 
12 and step out of the car.

(auto accelerates, stops, car door open, close, live voice) Hi, 
my name is Richie. What's yours?

TOM -- Ah, Tom. Mmmmy name is Tom.

RICHIE -- Is something wrong, Tom?

TOM -- Uh, no, I guess not. I'm just not used to seeing Christian 
counselors in a yellow and orange stripped uniform.

RICHIE -- Yes, well, what can we help you with?

TOM -- Well, I'm the youngest vice-president in my company, but 
I'm afraid that my lack of self-control may limit my further 
climb up the corporate ladder.

RICHIE -- You mean you're yielding to temptation?

TOM -- Exactly.

RICHIE -- Give me an example.

TOM -- Well, I gave up smoking a couple of years ago, but last 
time I went into one of those high pressure meetings in a 
smoke-filled room, well, I just lost my presence of mind and 
before I knew it, my hand was reaching for a cigarette.

RICHIE -- You REACHED for a cigarette.

TOM -- Yeah, like this, I REACHED for a cigarette.

RICHIE -- First Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has seized you 
except what is common to man and Counseling City is faithful. We 
will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear."

(tearing sound)

TOM -- Is it really necessary to tie my hand against my body like 
that, I mean, with duct tape?

RICHIE --  Trust me, Tom, I am a professional. Please go on, finish
your story.

TOM -- Well, my company is in the sports fashion business. So, 
when we go to shows and conventions, I am expected to wear some 
of the latest company products. I have to always look my best. 
But for some reason people in my office are always bringing 
homemade cookies and candy into the office. And, before I know 
it, my hand is reaching for one to many treats.

RICHIE -- Your hand is REACHING.

TOM -- Yeah, like this, I just reach out and... 

(tearing sound)

...listen, I've never had counseling where they duct tape both 
my hands against my body before. Are you sure...

RICHIE -- Luke 22:40 "Call on the name of Counseling City and 
your will be saved." Please continue.

TOM -- Well, then, I go to the health spa to work off all those 
high calorie treats and I that's when I start ogle all those 
beautiful women in tight fitting...

RICHIE -- Matthew 43:12 "If your eyes cause you to sin, cover 
them up."

(tearing sound)

TOM -- Listen, do you really have to blindfold me. Are you sure 
that's what Matthew 43:12 says? Cover them up?

RICHIE -- Trust me.

TOM -- I can't see a thing. Where are you?

RICHIE -- I'm right here, sir, please continue with your story of 

TOM -- Well, the worst thing is the on-the-job pressure. 
Sometimes when I don't think I can take it anymore, I slip out 
the side door and play hookie for the rest of the day.

RICHIE -- So, what you're saying is that you WALK out.

TOM -- Yes, I walk out. 

(tearing sound)

More duct tape? Say, what are you doing?

RICHIE -- "Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the 
evil one." Do you know that scripture verse, Tom?

TOM -- Yes, but where does it say you have to bind up my legs? I 
can't even walk. I can't even move. What kind of Christian 
counseling is this anyway....

(tearing sound)

Mmmmm. Mmmmm. Mmm. Mmmmmmm.

RICHIE -- A little more duct tape will take care or that 
temptation too. James 1:19 "Everyone should be quick to listen, 
slow to speak and slow to become angry." 

TOM -- Mmmmm. Mmmmmm. Mmmm. Mmmmmm.

RICHIE -- Well, there you are, Tom. You have complete control of 
all your temptations.

TOM -- Mmmmm. Mmmm.

RICHIE -- Now, you're ready to resume your climb up the corporate 

TOM -- Mmmm. Mmmmmmm.

RICHIE -- (Car door opens) Now, let's get you into the back seat 
of your car....


TOM --  Mmmm.

RICHIE --  ...and one of our counselor trainees will drive you 
back to your office.

TOM -- Mmm. Mmmmm. Mmm. Mmmmmm.

RICHIE -- Your welcome, Tom. And thanks for choosing Counseling 

TOM -- Mmmmm. Mmmmmm. (door slams)

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