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WIDOW    5'1m1f Elijah seeks shelter at a Widow's house

(knock, knock, knock, door opens)

WIDOW --- (harsh) Yes?

ELIJAH -- (wimp) Hi, I'm here.

WIDOW --- And who might you be?

ELIJAH -- It's me, Elijah.

WIDOW --- So?

ELIJAH -- Aren't you expecting me?

WIDOW --- Why would I be expecting you?

ELIJAH -- God sent me.

WIDOW --- Oh, well, in that case..... Hit the road, buddy!

(door close, knock, knock, knock, door opens)

You still here? I thought I told you to hit the road.

ELIJAH -- But the Lord told me to go to Zaraphath. This IS 
Zaraphath, isn't it?

WIDOW --- Yes.

ELIJAH -- And you ARE a widow, aren't you?

WIDOW --- Yes.

ELIJAH -- Good. Then I'm the one you were expecting.

WIDOW --- I wasn't expecting anyone. See ya.

ELIJAH -- Wait! The Lord was supposed to... Well, how can I put 
this? You're supposed to take me in, feed me and give me a place 
to sleep.

WIDOW --- Feed you? With what? I was just going to take the last 
of my flour and oil and make my last meal.

ELIJAH -- Last meal. What do you mean "last meal"?

WIDOW --- I have enough flour and oil to make one biscuit for my 
son and me. Then, he and I are going to starve to death.

ELIJAH -- Oh, dear, the Lord didn't say anything about...

WIDOW --- So, you're looking for a place to room and board, heh? 
How do I know that you can pay? What do you do for a living?

ELIJAH -- I'm a prophet.

WIDOW --- Hit the road, buddy!

(door close, knock, knock, knock, door opens)

Please, just let us eat our final meal and die in peace.

ELIJAH -- What have you got against prophets?

WIDOW --- Nothing, except that they never make a profit, if you 
know what I mean.

ELIJAH -- Well, actually, I don't know what you mean. Queen 
Jezebel killed all the prophets in Israel, except me. You would 
be doing the Lord a big favor if you took me in.

WIDOW --- How much money you got, buddy?

ELIJAH -- My name isn't Buddy. My name is Elijah. And I don't 
have any money, but the Lord...

WIDOW --- Hit the road, buddy!

(door close, knock, knock, knock, door opens)

Listen, fella, my son and I haven't eaten in two days. Now, just 
leave us alone so we can eat our last meal and die in peace.

ELIJAH -- Well, maybe if you let me in, the Lord will provide, 
so you won't have to die.

WIDOW --- You think maybe the Lord will give you a job?

ELIJAH -- Well, anything is possible.

WIDOW --- What did you do to make money before you came here?

ELIJAH -- Well, actually, I didn't work.

WIDOW --- Well, what did you ACTUALLY do to eat?

ELIJAH -- Well, actually, I didn't do anything. The crows fed 
me.

WIDOW --- The Crows... fed you.

ELIJAH -- Yeah, they brought me meat and bread every day. And I 
drank out of the stream.

WIDOW --- And you liked mooching off these poor crows?

ELIJAH -- Well, I didn't mind it. I'd still be there, but the 
drought dried up the stream.

WIDOW --- I see you're a man of great ambition. Hit the road, 
buddy!

(door close, knock, knock, knock, door opens)

What.

ELIJAH -- I think the Lord wants me to do a miracle in this 
house.

WIDOW --- I'm listening.

ELIJAH -- Even though your flour jar is almost empty now, you 
will never run out of flour. There. How's that?

WIDOW --- So, what you're saying is, if I let you in and feed 
you my last biscuit, MAYBE I'll have more flour in the jar for 
me and my son?

ELIJAH -- Yeah, that's about it.

WIDOW --- Hit the road, buddy!

(door close, knock, knock, knock)

ELIJAH -- I can raise your son from the dead.

WIDOW --- (afar) My son is not dead. What are you? Sick?

ELIJAH -- No, I'm a prophet. In a few months, your son will 
become sick and die and I will raise him from the dead.

(door opens)

WIDOW --- You on the level, buddy?

ELIJAH -- My name isn't Buddy. My name is Elijah. And yes, I'm 
on the level.

WIDOW --- If you're a prophet, then you can make it rain. You 
know, the reason we're starving to death is because of this 
cursed drought.

ELIJAH -- Yes, I know.

WIDOW --- You know.

ELIJAH -- Yes, I caused the drought.

WIDOW --- YOU caused the drought?

ELIJAH -- Yes, I declared that it would not rain for three years 
and it stopped raining.

WIDOW --- Hit the road, buddy!

(door close, knock, knock, knock, door opens)

ELIJAH -- You might as well let me in.

WIDOW --- (afar) Why should I? What are you going to do, make me 
starve to death?

ELIJAH -- You'll be in the Bible if you let me in.

(door opens)

WIDOW --- Oh, well, why didn't you say so? Come in.

ELIJAH -- (fading) Thank you. Well, hi there, little fella, my 
name is Elijah and what's you're name?

(door close)


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