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SUNSTOPS 4'2m0f Joshua's confrontation with Gibeonites, Amorites

(All conversations on P.A. system with echo)

CALEB --- Okay, can everybody hear me alright? Okay, my name is 
Caleb. But here's a man who needs no introduction, a man who 
just led our troops to back-to-back victories over the 
Gibeonites and the Amorites. And now without further ado, here's 
our leader, Joshua, son of Nun.

(applause)

JOSHUA -- Thank you, thank you, people of Israel. It's a pleasure 
to return from the battle field to report such a marvelous 
victory. Our victory over the amorites brings the score to 
Israel 3, pagans 0.

(applause)

After easy victories over Jericho and the city of Ai, we didn't 
know if we had what it took to conquer the combined power of the 
five biggest kingdoms in Canaan. Well, the Lord promised that 
he'd help us in this battle. So, we attacked the Amorites with a 
vengeance. And I'm here to report that, while we didn't see the 
Lord's hand in the battle, we did conquer the Amorites in only 
one day...

CALEB --- (afar) Excuse me, Joshua, but you did see the Lord's 
hand?

JOSHUA -- (aside) Not now, Caleb, can't you see I'm busy here? 
(to the crowd) I personally killed twice as many of the enemy as 
ever before in a single day...

CALEB --- (afar) You didn't do that by yourself.

JOSHUA -- (aside) Caleb, please. Just because you had to stay at 
home, don't spoil it for those of us who were heroes in battle. 
Where was I?

CALEB --- (afar) You were about to tell us about your great 
victory over the Gibeonites.

JOSHUA -- I haven't finished telling them about the Amorites 
yet. We chased the all over the...

CALEB --- You started out from here to conquer the Gibeonites. 
Let's take it in chronological order. Tell us about your great 
victory over the Gibeonites.

JOSHUA -- (softly) We didn't fight the Gibeonites.

CALEB --- I'm sorry, I don't think that the people in the back 
heard you. Could you repeat that?

JOSHUA -- I'd much rather talk about our great victory over the 
Amorites.

CALEB --- (louder) So, why didn't you conquer the Gibeonites?

JOSHUA -- (softly) They tricked us.

CALEB --- I'm sorry, I don't think that the people in the back 
heard you. Could you repeat that?

JOSHUA -- I said, they tricked us. There, I said it. They 
tricked us. They made us think that they were from Babylonia or 
some other far off land. So, we made a treaty with them, because 
we thought they lived outside the promised land.

CALEB --- (louder) And what did the Lord say about them?

JOSHUA -- (softly) We didn't ask the Lord.

CALEB --- Excuse me?

JOSHUA -- I said, we forgot to ask the Lord about them.

CALEB --- Oh, brother.

JOSHUA -- It was an honest mistake. But when our troops advanced 
to the next town, we found out that it was Gibeon. We had to 
honor our treaty. How would it look if we made a treaty and then 
wiped them out?

CALEB --- So, the sinful pagans, who should have been 
completely wiped out, will now be a thorn in our flesh forever?

JOSHUA -- We made them promise to cut our firewood and haul our 
water forever because they deceived us.

CALEB --- Oh, brother.

JOSHUA -- Let's talk about our triumph over the Amorites.

CALEB --- Yes, let's.

JOSHUA -- Did I mention that we conquered all five kingdoms in 
one day, and that I killed twice as many enemy as my personal 
best in one day?

CALEB --- Well, then, you must have asked for the Lord's 
blessing this time.

JOSHUA -- Yes, but I really don't think we got much help from 
the Lord, though. We were really good!

CALEB --- Did you notice that the day was a bit longer than 
usual?

JOSHUA -- Well, maybe, but time really flies when you're having 
fun...

CALEB --- The Lord made the sun stand still.

JOSHUA -- He what?

CALEB --- (louder) The Lord made the sun stand still. Yesterday 
was 48 hours long.

JOSHUA -- So, my personal best record will have an asterisk by 
it?

CALEB --- Uh huh. But I'm sorry that the Lord didn't give you 
any help in battle.

JOSHUA -- Well, I'm famished. How about lunch?

CALEB --- Yes, what shall we serve? How about humble pie?

JOSHUA -- Very funny.


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