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SHADRACH 6'4m1f Three Hebrews survive the firey furnace

DEB -- (conniving and controlling) Nebuchadnezzar, honey, come to 
the window and look at the statue. 

NEB -- (wimp, afar) Huh? What was that, my queen?

DEB -- I said, come look at the statue. They finished covering it 
with pure gold.

NEB -- (afar) Maybe later, my sweet. I'm reading.

DEB -- Nebuchadnezzar! Put that comic book down and get over here 
now!

NEB -- (near) Yes, my sweet.

DEB -- Look at it, Nebuchadnezzar, a ninety-foot tall statue 
covered in pure gold! Look how it glistens in the sun!

NEB -- Uh huh.

DEB -- And the best thing of all, it looks like me!

NEB -- Did I order it to look like you, my sweet?

DEB -- Yes, of course, you ordered it to look like me. Remember? 
You wanted to be known as the greatest king in history.

NEB -- I did?

DEB -- Yes, and in order to do that, you wanted everyone to think 
you married a goddess.

NEB -- I did?

DEB -- Yes, of course, you did. Then, you ordered that as soon as 
it was covered with gold, everyone in your kingdom was to bow 
down to me... that is, to the statue.

NEB -- I did?

DEB -- Yes! You did!

NEB -- Oh. Can I go read my comic book now?

DEB -- No! It's time for them to bow down to me... to the 
statue. Stay here and watch the people grovel when the trumpet 
sounds.

NEB -- They're supposed to grovel? I thought they were suppose to 
bow down.

DEB -- Just watch!

NEB -- Yes, my sweet. 

(trumpet) 

Well, there you are, my sweet. They're all bowing down. Can I go 
read my comic book now?

DEB -- No. 

NEB -- Gee whiz, my sweet, why not?

DEB -- There are three men down there who are not groveling with 
their noses in the dirt!

NEB -- Where?

DEB -- There! Those impertinent jerks with long beards and 
foreign robes.

NEB -- Well, gee whiz, I gave the order, didn't I? You said that 
people always do what I say, didn't you?

DEB -- I recognize those three men. Where have I seen them 
before? 

NEB -- Oh, dear, that's Shadrach, Meshach and....ah... Shadrach 
Meshach and ah...

DEB -- Abednego. Yes, that's it! You appointed those Jews as 
provincial administrators.

NEB -- I did? I don't remember doing that, my sweet.

DEB -- Yes, I thought I could save a little money by hiring those 
nitwits. But now it looks like they're getting too big for their 
breeches. Give the order to have them burned in the fiery 
furnace!

NEB -- Isn't that a little harsh, my sweet? Maybe they didn't 
hear the trumpet.

DEB -- (shouts) You down there! The king wants to see you up 
here right now!

NEB -- I do?

DEB -- Yes, you do. You're going to give them a fair trial, and 
then you're going to have them thrown into the fiery furnace!

(the three stooges)

SHAD - (shouts) We'll be right up, your majesty.

MECH - I wonder what she wants with us. Oh, well, let's go.

(footsteps)

ABED - Well, she's the one who gave us these cushy jobs as 
provincial administrators. Maybe she wants to tell us what a 
great job we're doing.

SHAD - Maybe she wants to give us a promotion.

MECH - I'd settle for a corner office.

ABED - How about a chauffeur-driven limo?

SHAD - Let's not forget to ask for video games in the employees 
lounge.

MECH - Oh, there she is. 

(footsteps stop)

SHAD - Okay, guys, follow my lead. Bow low.

(aloud) Your majesty.

ABED - Your majesty.

MECH - You're on my toe.

ABED - Sorry.

DEB -- Well, your majesty, tell these fools why you wanted to see 
them.

NEB -- Ah, Shadrach, Meshach and...ah. Shadrach, Meshach, and 
ah....

DEB -- Abednego! Get on with it!

NEB -- Yes, of course, well, I....ah.... That is... ah... well... 

DEB -- What the great king is trying to say is that you didn't 
bow down and worship the gold statue when the trumpet sounded. 
And so he sentences you to the fiery furnace.

SHAD - Is it too late to bow down now?

MECH - Shadrach! Get up off your knees! 

(slap)

SHAD - Ouch!

MECH - What my friend is trying to say is that we mean no 
disrespect to the golden idol nor to great king. But our God 
forbids us from bowing down to other gods.

DEB -- The great king could show mercy if you bow down. He'd make 
it worth your while. Let's say five shekels per person.

ABED - Well, maybe one little curtsy wouldn't hurt.

MECH - Abednego! Give that money back, right now! 

(slap)

ABED - Ouch!

MECH - What my friend is trying to say, your highness is that 
it's not negotiable. The first and greatest commandment of our 
Lord God is not to bow down to foreign gods.

DEB -- Then it's off to the fiery furnace! Right King?

NEB -- Ah, right....Ah... to the fiery furnace, I guess.

SHAD - So, I suppose this is not a good time to ask for a corner 
office?

DEB -- Out!

(footstep fade)

NEB -- Isn't this a little harsh, my sweet?

DEB -- Oh, go read your comic book!

NEB -- Yes, my sweet.

DEB -- Wait a minute!

NEB -- But you said I should go read my....

DEB -- Look at that!

NEB -- Look at what, my sweet?

DEB -- Those three Jews. They're not burning up in the furnace. 
They're walking around inside the furnace.

NEB -- You must be mistaken, my sweet. Noone could survive in 
that heat.

DEB -- Didn't we send THREE people into the furnace?

NEB -- Three. Yes, I think so. Let's see. Shadrach, Meshach, and 
ah... Shadrach, Meshach and ah...

DEB -- Abednego. Yes. That's three. Then, why are there FOUR men 
walking around in there?

NEB -- One of them looks like an angel. Is that possible, my 
sweet?

DEB -- Of course, that's not possible. Go read your comic book!

NEB -- Yes, my sweet.

DEB -- Wait a minute! 

NEB -- But you said....

DEB -- ...Two of our palace guards just burned up and they were 
on the outside of the furnace. How could anyone survive inside 
the furnace? 

NEB -- Should I go back to reading my comic book or not?

DEB -- Oh, go read your comic book!

NEB -- Yes, my sweet.

DEB -- Wait a minute! 

NED -- But you said....

DEB -- ...Their clothes aren't even burning! The only things 
that are burning are the ropes that the guards used to tie them 
up. The ropes burned completely off!

NEB -- My sweet, those men are coming our of the furnace. Are 
they allowed to do that?

DEB -- No! They're not allowed to do that! But they're doing it!

(footstep approach)

SHAD - Well, your majesty, thanks for a great weiny roast.

ABED - Would you like a hot dog?

MESH - How about a marshmallow?

(footsteps fade)

DEB -- Nebuchadnezzar, where do you think you're going?

NEB -- (afar) They offered me a marshmallow, my queen.

DEB -- Go read your comic book!

NEB -- Yes, my queen.


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