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SAMSON   6'1m1f Delilah finds the secret to Samson's strength

DELILAH -- (Romanian gypsy) Hello, handsome. What yourrr name?

SAMSON --- (Cocky, dumb jock) Funny, you haven't heard of me. 
I'm a hero, you know. My name is Samson.

DELILAH -- I can tell frrrom yourrr accent that you'rrre not 
frrrom arrround herrre.

SAMSON --- No, I'm from Zorah.

DELILAH -- So, Samson, I suppose a gorrrgeous hunk like you has 
5 or 6 wives, eh?

SAMSON --- No. My only wife was burned at the stake.

DELILAH -- You surrre know how to sveet talk a lady, Samson, you 
hunk.

SAMSON --- Your not so bad looking yourself, there, lady. What's 
your name?

DELILAH -- My name is Delilah. And I sure vould like to get to 
know your betterrr.

SAMSON --- Well, I think that can be arranged.

DELILAH -- So, tell me a little bit about yourrrself, Samson, 
darrrlinG.

SAMSON --- Well, I'm the leader of the Hebrews, but my own 
people once tied me up so they could turn me over to the 
Philistines.

DELILAH -- Such a likable guy.

SAMSON --- But I broke the ropes...

DELILAH -- Oooo, and strrronG too.

SAMSON --- Yup, then I picked up the jawbone of a decomposing 
donkey and beat to death 1000 Philistines.

DELILAH -- Oh, you'rrre so rrromantic. Tell me morrre.

SAMSON --- Well, I once slept with a prostitute from Gaza. And 
when I woke up I found that the towns people had trapped me by 
closing and locking the city gates. They were going to kill me.

DELILAH -- Such a likable guy.

SAMSON --- But, I tore the city gates right off the hinges and 
carried the city gates 35 miles to the top of the hill 
overlooking Hebron.

DELILAH -- Oh, and practical too.

SAMSON --- So, how about you and me, babe?

DELILAH -- Oh, I'm sure you're just the man I've been 
searrrchinG for all my life, darrrlinG, but before I get 
serrrious about a man, I must know his limitations.

SAMSON --- Baby, I ain't got no limitations.

DELILAH -- Not even bad grammarrrr?

SAMSON --- Why are you talking about my grammar. She died 10 
years ago.

DELILAH -- Did you plead self defense?

SAMSON --- What?

DELILAH -- Neverrrmind.

SAMSON --- So, how about you and me in a wrestling match. Two 
out of three falls?

DELILAH -- You'rrre rrrriplinG muscles are a bit too much forrr 
me, Samson. Maybe if I knew how to turn off yourrr trrremendous 
strength?

SAMSON --- What are your talking about?

DELILAH -- I vant to know the secret of yourrr strength, 
darrrlinG. Is that to much to ask?

SAMSON --- I get my strength from the Lord. Now, let's wrestle.

DELILAH -- Just one a minute, therrre, darrrlinG. How do you turn 
it off?

SAMSON --- I ain't turned it on yet. I was hoping that you would 
take care of that. Let's wrestle.

DELILAH -- Down boy! Down! Frrrankly, Samson, I'm frrrightened 
of yourrr grrreat strrrength. Maybe if I knew how to turn it off 
for a while, we could wrrrestle until dawn?

SAMSON --- Well, in that case, Just tie me up with seven fresh 
leather thongs. Then, I'll be hopeless.

DELILAH -- You'rrre alrrready hopeless.

SAMSON --- What?

DELILAH -- Nothing. I just happen to have 7 fresh leather thongs 
herrre, darrrling. So, what you'rrre sayinG, is that if I just 
tie... you... up... with... seven... thongs... like... this... 
you... vill... lose... your... strength? There let's try that.

(rip)

SAMSON --- Eh! (laughs) Just kidding. See? I broke them like 
they was paper. (laughs)

DELILAH -- Vell, darrrlinG, that certainly was a joke on me.

SAMSON --- So, how about a little smooch?

DELILAH -- Perrrhaps, as soon as I find out how to turn off your 
sourrrce of strrrength, darrrlinG..

SAMSON --- Aw, come on!

DELILAH -- (afar) Vell, it's been nice meetinG you, big boy.

SAMSON --- Alright. I'll tell you. If you just tie me up with 
seven new ropes, I'm done.

DELILAH -- Only in my dreams.

SAMSON --- What?

DELILAH -- Nothing. So, I just happen... to... have... seven... 
new... ropes... here... to... tie... you... up... with. Therrre 
trrry zat.

(rip)

SAMSON --- Eh! (laughs) Just kidding. (laughs)

DELILAH -- (fading) This time I'm not amused.

SAMSON --- Wait a minute. Where you going?

DELILAH -- (afar) Therrre are plenty of otherrr fish in ze sea.

SAMSON --- Alright, Alright, I'll tell you. The secret of my 
strength is in my hair. If you weave seven pieces of cloth into 
my hair, I'm like a slug.

DELILAH -- (near) Which requires no change in your personality.

SAMSON --- What was that?

DELILAH -- Nothing. So, what you'rrre sayinG, is that... if... 
I... veave... these... seven... strrrips... of... cloth... in... 
yourrrr... hair... Therrre, trrry that.

SAMSON --- Eh! (laughs) I had you going there for a while, didn't 
I?

DELILAH -- (afar) Yes, und you have me goinG now.

SAMSON --- No, no, please don't go. I'll tell you this time, I 
swear.

DELILAH -- This betterrr be good, bubba.

SAMSON --- The secret is in my hair, like I said, but cloths 
have nothing to do with it. It's my hair itself. I've never had 
it cut. If I ever shaved off my hair, I'd be like moosh.

DELILAH -- Und a perrrsonality to match.

SAMSON --- How's that?

DELILAH -- It didn't hurrrt to tell the truth, did it, darrlinG?

SAMSON --- So, now you and me? We can go two out of three falls 
on the mat, huh?

DELILAH -- Surrre, darrrlinG, just as soon as you drrrink this 
cocktail I mixed just forrr you.

SAMSON --- Mmmm. Tastes good! So, what's it got in it? Do I 
taste a little poopermint. (laughs) Did you hear that? I said 
poopermint. I meant to say... Oah! 

(thud, music cue: "Show me the way to go home")

Where am I?

DELILAH -- Why, you'rrre in jail, DarrrlinG.

SAMSON --- How did I get in jail?

DELILAH -- Well, you fainted, darrrlinG. Apparently, you can't 
hold yourrr liquorrr. I trrried to lift you but you werrre too 
heavy, so I lightened you up a little. I shaved off yourrr 
hairrr. (laughs)

SAMSON --- You what? (chains clink) What's this? Chains? How 
could you do this?

DELILAH -- It brrroke my hearrrt, darrrlinG, but forrr 5500 
shekels of silverrrr, I decided to admirrre you from afarrrr. 
(laughs)

SAMSON --- Delilah, I never want to lay eyes on you again.

DELILAH -- That can be arrrrranged. (laughs)

SAMSON --- (screams)


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