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RUTH     3'2m0f Boaz negotiates for the hand of Ruth

(all Bronx accents)

MURRAY -- Morning, Boaz.

BOAZ ---- Morning, Murray.

MURRAY -- Who was that shicksa I saw you with last night?

BOAZ ---- Oh, her? She's a foreigner. You wouldn't be 
interested.

MURRAY -- Oh, but I would be interested, Boaz. She was 
gorgeous. That girl had more curves than a mountain road.

BOAZ ---- She's from Moab, Murray. You know the Moabites. 
They're all pagans.

MURRAY -- I wasn't exactly thinking of worshiping her gods, 
Boaz. If you know what I mean.

BOAZ ---- She's a mama's girl, Murray. You marry the girl, you 
marry the mother.

MURRAY -- For a girl like that, I'd marry the grandmother too. 
So, what's her name?

BOAZ ---- Her name is Ruth.

MURRAY -- So, tell me more.

BOAZ ---- What's to tell?

MURRAY -- You're awfully tight-lipped about this girl, Boaz. I 
know you're sweet on her. She slept at your feet last night on 
the threshing floor. When a woman warms your feet, Boaz, it 
means she wants to warm your heart. So, tell me more.

BOAZ ---- She's living with Naomi.

MURRAY -- Naomi? Elimalech's wife?

BOAZ ---- Yes.

MURRAY -- She's back from Moab?

BOAZ ---- Yes. He died there.

MURRAY -- Didn't her boys marry Moabite women?

BOAZ ---- Yes, uh huh.

MURRAY -- Boaz, you sly dog.

BOAZ ---- What.

MURRAY -- No wonder you were so tight-lipped about her. Ruth is 
a relative of mine by marriage.

BOAZ ---- Oh, yes, I guess she is.

MURRAY -- What happened to her husband?

BOAZ ---- He died, apparently.

MURRAY -- That make me Ruth's kinsman redeemer. Boaz! You sly 
dog.

BOAZ ---- What.

MURRAY -- What were you going to do, try to marry her without 
giving me first dibs on her?

BOAZ ---- Why, no, I...

MURRAY -- You sly dog. You knew I had first dibs on her.

BOAZ ---- Yes, I suppose I did. So, do you want to marry her?

MURRAY -- Is the Pope Catholic?

BOAZ ---- What's a pope?

MURRAY -- Oh, wrong time period. Well, anyway, yes, of course I 
want to marry little Ruthy.

BOAZ ---- There might be one little problem where you're 
concerned, Murray.

MURRAY -- Yeah, what's that?

BOAZ ---- She doesn't have any children by her dead husband.

MURRAY -- Yeah, so?

BOAZ ---- So what about your estate?

MURRAY -- My estate? What about my estate?

BOAZ ---- If you marry her and she has children, they get some 
of your estate.

MURRAY -- Yes, but when she has children, they inherit the name 
of their dead father, according to the law.

BOAZ ---- Yes, but as YOUR children, they share in your estate.

MURRAY -- You mean they inherit his name, but they inherit my 
money?

BOAZ ---- That's about right.

MURRAY -- On second thought, I'm not sure I like brunettes with 
gorgeous faces and nice figures. That could be distracting. 
Looks are way overrated.

BOAZ ---- So, you're not interested in Ruth?

MURRAY -- Interested? Yes. Serious? No. Besides, what good can 
possibly come from marrying a Moabite woman?

BOAZ ---- The messiah perhaps?

MURRAY -- (laughs) Boaz, you're such a kidder.


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