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REHOBOAM 2'1m0f Son of Solomon reluctantly discusses Proverbs

(Phone dialing beeps)

(teenager)

Hello, is this the royal palace?

Good. I need to talk to my Dad.

King Solomon, yeah.

Hi, Dad. Say listen, the guys and me...

This is your son. See the guys and me...

I know you have a hundred and forty three sons...

It's Rehoboam, Dad. See, the guys and me...

Your oldest son. The heir to the throne. Remember? (aside)  Dah!

Rehoboam, that's right.

Yeah, I guess a shorter name would have been a little easier to
remember, Dad. But, listen...

Right. Who would have predicted...

No, not many fathers end up with seven hundred wives. So, Dad let
me tell you why I called...

Well, congratulations, Dad. It's not every day you publish a new
book. But...

Ecclesiastes. Yes, I remember that book. How could I forget. You
made me read the manuscript. But....

What to I think? A best seller? Well, listen, Dad, don't get
your hopes up.

Why? Well, because it's kind of a downer, Dad. You write off all
the good stuff in life as meaningless. 

A downer, yeah. Now, if you write could write another book like
that Song of Songs, now there was a best seller. They're still
scribbling quotes from that book on the men's room walls.

Yeah. Well, listen, Dad, I'd love to stay and talk but me and the
guys want to go over to the mall.

Yeah, to play few games, ...scope out the babes...

Yeah, well, I'd like to hear about the ideas for your next book,
Dad, but the guys and I are...

You're going to write your next book is for me? For me 
personally? Oh, that's great, Dad, but...

Proverbs. Oh, that's an interesting title. (aside) Not. 

So, about the mall, do you think me and the guys could...

Prepared? Am I prepared for what, Dad?

What would I say if a woman came up to me at the mall asked me to
go home with her?

Well, I would have to choose between two carefully worded
responses. I would either say "Yeah, Mama!" or "Oh, Baby, Baby!"

Dad, does this mean I don't get the keys to the chariot?

(click, buzz)

Dad? Hello?


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