MTSINAI  3'2m0f Moses and Aaron receive the ten commandments

(Fire horn, long blast)

AARON -- Moses! What was that?

MOSES -- That was the Lord talking, Aaron.

AARON -- Can't he whisper?

MOSES -- He's the Lord. He can talk as loud as he wants to.

AARON -- Well, I can't understand a thing he's saying.

MOSES -- I can. He's talking to me.

AARON -- Moses the big shot. Always talking to the Lord. How 
come he never talks to me?

(horn blast)

What's he saying now?

MOSES -- He wants you and me to set foot on the mountain.

AARON -- Oh, no, you don't.

MOSES -- Why not?

AARON -- You saw what he just did to the mountain. He burned the 
top right off of it. Look, it's still smoking. And you want me 
to go up there?

MOSES -- Oh, that was just a warning to the others not to set 
foot on the sacred mountain. 

AARON -- What happens if someone sets foot on the mountain?

MOSES -- We have to stone them to death.

AARON -- (afar) See ya.

MOSES -- Wait a minute! That doesn't mean you! You're Aaron, the 
priest. He invited you.

AARON -- What does he want me for?

MOSES -- Lunch.

AARON -- See ya.

MOSES -- Wait a minute. I was just kidding. He's going to give 
us the ten commandments.

AARON -- (afar) I just remembered, I left something on the 
stove. Bye.

MOSES -- Get back here. Listen, if you don't go with me, the 
ground might open up and swallow you.

AARON -- (shouts) Where?!

MOSES -- Get off me!

AARON -- I don't see any cracks, do you?

MOSES -- Of course you don't see any cracks. Get down. That's 

AARON -- I'm still alive!

MOSES -- Of course you're still alive. I didn't say the ground 
WOULD swallow you up. I said it might -- IF you don't go with 

AARON -- Alright, I'll go. But do we have to go all the way to 
the top? It's still smoking up there. It looks hot.

MOSES -- No, we just have to go a few feet further. Come on.

(footsteps in sand)

AARON -- Okay, but I don't know why you can't go alone.


Oh, man, tell him to turn down the volume or give us ear plugs!

MOSES -- The Lord is speaking again.

AARON -- What's he saying?


MOSES -- He's giving us the ten commandments. Write this down.
"You shall have no other gods before me." Did you get that?

AARON -- What do you mean, did I get that?

MOSES -- Didn't you write it down?

AARON -- No. I didn't bring a pencil.

MOSES -- Oh, man!

AARON -- Well, I'm a sculptor, not a secretary. What am I gonna 
do with a pencil?

MOSES -- Well, what HAVE you got to write with?

AARON -- Nothing.

MOSES -- What's in your apron there.

AARON -- A hammer and a chisel. I'm a sculptor, remember?

MOSES -- Okay chisel God's words into these rocks here.

AARON -- You're kidding.


MOSES -- Hurry, he's giving us another commandment.

AARON -- Okay. Here goes. 

(plink, plink, plink, plink -- continues to end of sketch)

MOSES -- Okay, here's the second commandment. "You shall not 
make yourself any idols and you shall not bow down to idols." 
Got that?

AARON -- (plink, plink, plink) Huh?

MOSES -- I said did you get that?

AARON -- Say, do you want the number TEN in arabic or roman 
numerals? What.

MOSES -- I'll be right back.

AARON -- Where are you going?

MOSES -- (afar) I'm going to tell my wife I'll be late for dinner.

AARON -- (afar) How do you spell COMMANDMENTS?

MOSES -- (afar) I'll tell her to hold breakfast too.

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