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METHUSIL 2'1m1f A female reporter interviews Methuselah

EVE -- This is your roving reporter, Eve Dropper, reporting live 
via our exclusive time-travel microphone from the middle east. I 
am about to interview the oldest man in the Bible, Methuselah.

Good evening, Mr Methuselah.

MET -- What's so good about it?

EVE -- Mr Methuselah, we understand that you are 969 years old.

MET -- Yeah, so what?

EVE -- Well, that makes you the oldest man in the Bible.

MET -- Big deal.

EVE -- Mr Methuselah, are you upset about something?

MET -- Oh, brilliant. What gave you the first clue?

EVE -- Have you suffered a loss?

MET -- My wife.

EVE -- Oh, I'm sorry, they didn't tell me. When did she die?

MET -- 314 years ago.

EVE -- Your wife died 314 years ago and you're still upset about 
it?

MET -- Alright, Miss Congeniality, how congenial do you think 
you'd be after going 314 years of sleeping alone.

EVE -- I see your point. Have you thought about getting 
remarried?

MET -- You make it sound so easy. But it doesn't work that way.

EVE -- What do you mean?

MET -- Well, you find in a good woman and wham, she drops over 
dead and you have to start over just 125 years later.

EVE -- You've outlived all your wives?

MET -- Nothing slips by you, does it?

EVE -- Have you tried younger women?

MET -- My Dad married a younger woman and it cost him his life!

EVE -- He died early?

MET -- Prime of his life.

EVE -- How old was he?

MET -- Just 365 years olds.

EVE -- Yes, well, Mr Methuselah, summing things up, tell our 
audience: to what you attribute your own longevity.

MET -- You married?

EVE -- Excuse me?

MET -- I asked if you're married, sweet thing.

EVE -- As a matter of fact, no, I'm not married. But we were 
talking about you and your longevity. 

MET -- Wanna go over to Omar's Deli with be for a little felafel 
and chicory, baby cakes?

EVE -- Mr Methuselah, can we get back to the discussion at 
hand...

MET -- ...You're definitely my kind of woman, love muffin.

EVE -- Ah, umm. Mr Methuselah, to what do you attribute your 
long life?

MET -- With them hips you could bear me 15 or 20 children 
before I croak, honey lips.

EVE -- Yes, well, about your long life. What's your secret?

MET -- Optimism.

EVE -- Excuse me? Did you say Optimism?

MET -- I look forward to things of the future, like you, sweet 
cheeks. If we start planning now, we could be married in a 
couple weeks.

EVE -- And now back to the studio.

MET -- (afar) I was thinking of a small wedding. Just five or 
six hundred close friends. Hey, where did she go?


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