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JOB      6'2m0f Job's life goes downhill

(knock, knock, knock)

BOB -- Job?

(knock, knock, knock)

Job, are you in there?

(knock, knock, knock)

Job, please answer the door.

(knock, knock, knock, door open)

JOB -- What's all the racket? I'm right in the middle of my 
prayers.

BOB -- (breathless) Job, something terrible has happened!

JOB -- Who are you? How do you know my name?

BOB -- I'm the messenger.

JOB -- THE messenger?

BOB -- Yes.

JOB -- I don't know you. How do you know my name?

BOB -- Everybody knows you, Job. You have your own book in the 
Bible.

JOB -- Oh, yeah. Well, where were we?

BOB -- Let's see, I guess we're in Chapter 1, verse 14.

JOB -- Oh! You're THAT messenger.

BOB -- Yes, but listen the news isn't very good.

JOB -- What is it?

BOB -- The oxen were plowing the field and the donkeys were 
grazing nearby... and by the way, Job, I have never seen so 
many oxen and donkeys in one place in my life. There must have 
been 500 oxen and 500 donkeys out there...

JOB -- Yes, yes, I'm a very wealthy man. We covered that in 
Chapter 1, verse 3. Can you just get to the point?!

BOB -- Yeah, sure, anyways, these Arabians came out of nowhere 
and killed all your farm hands and stole all your oxen and 
donkeys. I was barely able to escape with my life.

JOB -- Oh, dear. Well, you'd better go and warn my shepherds. If 
the Arabians killed my farm hands, my shepherds might be in 
danger too.

BOB -- Yes, sir. Right away sir.

(door close, knock, knock, knock, door open)

JOB -- Back already?

BOB -- (breathless) Yes, sir. And I have more bad news. 

JOB -- More bad news?

BOB -- Yes, sir, real bad. Fire fell from the sky and burned up 
all your sheep and shepherds.

JOB -- Fire fell from the sky?

BOB -- There must have been 7000 sheep and dozens of shepherds 
out there. Now they're all crispy critters. I was barely able to 
escape with my life.

JOB -- Oh, dear, those poor shepherds.... My good fortune that 
God has blessed me with has apparently changed.  Well, you'd 
better hurry and warn my camel drivers or something terrible 
will probably happen to them too.

BOB -- Yes, sir. Right away sir.

(door close, knock, knock, knock, door open)

JOB -- I have a bad feeling about this.

BOB -- (breathless) I'm sorry to report this, sir, but the 
Chaldeans swept in out of the hills and killed all your camel 
drivers and made off with all 3000 of your camels.

JOB -- How did you know there were exactly 3000 camels?

BOB -- Oh, ah, it's in Chapter 1, verse 3. Yeah, that's it.

JOB -- Uh huh.

BOB -- Oh, by the way, I was barely able to escape with my life.

JOB -- Well, it looks like I was right. The good fortune God has 
blessed me with has changed. You'd better go warn my sons and 
daughters before something bad happens to them too. They're all 
partying at the house on my oldest son. Please hurry.

BOB -- I'm on my way.

(door close, knock, knock, knock, door open)

JOB -- Oh, no!

BOB -- What's the matter? I haven't told you the news yet.

JOB -- You always bring me bad news. What is it?

BOB -- A tornado struck you son's house and killed everyone 
inside. I was barely...

JOB -- ...I know, you were barely able to escape with your life. 
Well, that's it. Everything I hold dear is gone. I have nothing 
left. Aaaaah! 

(thud)

BOB -- Are you alright, Job? Should I go get a doctor?

JOB -- I'm fine. I'm on my knees here so I can praise the Lord.

BOB -- Praise the Lord? He let all this happen to you and you're 
on your knees praising him?

JOB -- The Lord gave me everything I had. It all belongs to 
him. He has a right to do anything he wants with it. Now, 
please, leave me alone.

BOB -- Ah, yeah, sure. I'll ah... I'll go warn your wife. 
Maybe she's in danger too.

(door close, knock, knock, knock)

JOB -- (muffled) Come in.

(door open)

BOB -- Your wife is alright, sir, she just.... Oooooo. Look at 
you!

JOB -- Oh, you mean all the sores?

BOB -- Yes, you have sores all over your body. Yuk! Looks like 
the Lord let you down again, huh, Job?

JOB -- The Lord gave me everything I have. He has a right to 
protect me or not. He has no obligation to me. What about my 
wife? She's alright, isn't she?

BOB -- Yes. She sent you a message. She says, and I quote, 
"Curse God and die."

JOB -- Curse God and die? That's what my wife said?

BOB -- Curse God and die. Yup. That's what she said.

JOB -- She doesn't understand all this... And I guess there's 
one thing about all this that I don't understand myself.   

BOB -- What's that?

JOB -- Well, if God was willing to let all my servants and my 
children be killed, why didn't he take my wife too?

BOB -- Because your wife is a nag. The Lord wants you to suffer. 
So, now that you're thoroughly miserable, are you ready to 
curse God and die?

JOB -- Of course not. And you're wrong about that. The Lord 
doesn't want me to suffer. He loves me. So, if you'll excuse me, 
I'll praise the Lord.

BOB -- You can't be serious! After all the Lord put you 
through, you still intend to praise the Lord? You are 
unbelievable! Well, I'm out of here... Unless there's someone 
else you want me to warn.

JOB -- Speaking of that... you seem to be about as lucky as I am 
unlucky these days.

BOB -- What do you mean?

JOB -- I mean all those farm hands, camel drivers, shepherds and 
my children were killed, but, you narrowly escaped from all 
those tragedies without so much as a scratch.

BOB -- Lucky is my middle name. (chuckles)

JOB -- How did you know my wife is a nag? I've never seen you 
around my family before.

BOB -- Lucky is my middle name. (chuckles)

JOB -- No it's not.

BOB -- It isn't?

JOB -- No. Your middle name is Lucifer. You are the devil 
himself.

BOB -- I thought I had you fooled. Well, now you know.

JOB -- (laughs)

BOB -- Why are you laughing?

JOB -- Because I have faith in the Lord. (laughs)

BOB -- Yeah, so?

JOB -- So, after 38 more chapters in this book, the Lord will 
restore my wealth and my happiness. My misery won't last. But 
you. You have no hope. You can never be anything but evil. I 
feel sorry for you. (laughter fades until door closes)

BOB -- Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.

(door closes)


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