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JACOB'S  4'1m1f Esau loses his inheritance in Jacob's Diner

LIZ -- Hi, welcome to Jacob's Diner. What can I get ya...Holy
mackerel! Your skin is red as a beet! You been out in
the sun too long, fella!

ESAU - Oh, that's the natural color of my skin. I was born
that way. That's why they call me Edom.

LIZ -- Well, hi, Edom.

ESAU - Actually, my name is Esau. But, you can call me
anything they want as long as you don't call me...

Both --...late for dinner.

LIZ -- Yeah, how clever.

ESAU - Oh, speaking of dinner, I just came in off a hunting
expedition and BOY I'm famished! What's my brother got
for me to eat?

LIZ -- Jacob is your brother?

ESAU - Yeah, my twin brother. Why?

LIZ -- Fella, you must have been away hunting for a long
time! I've been working here at the diner for almost
two weeks. 

ESAU - Two weeks, that's about right. And right now I'm so
hungry I could eat a skunk. How about we start with a
the T-bone steak?

LIZ -- How you want it cooked?

ESAU - Well done. With them onion rings on top.

LIZ -- (Shouts, fading) T-bone steak with onion rings. 

(2 seconds of low mumbles) Sorry, we're out of T-bones.

ESAU - Deep fried chicken, then. I love the way Jacob makes
chicken.

LIZ -- Baked potato, mashed or french fries?

ESAU - French fries.

LIZ -- Green beans, carrots or apple sauce.

ESAU - Carrots.

LIZ -- (Shouts, fading) Fried Chicken, with fries and carrots.

(more mumbling) Sorry, no chicken either.

ESAU - Oh, man! I could smell chicken and steak for the last 3
miles into town. Oh, well, what else you got? Polish
sausage?

LIZ -- (shouts) Polish sausage! 

Sorry, out.

ESAU - Egg plant parmesan?

LIZ -- (shouts) Egg plant parmesan. 

Sorry.

ESAU - Then, I'll just have a plate of spaghetti.

LIZ -- Marinara sauce or Alfredo sauce.

ESAU - I don't care! I'm starving!

LIZ -- Spaghetti with marinera sauce. And hurry, your brother
is starving.

Sorry. We're out of spaghetti too.

ESAU - Oh, man! I'm dying here!

LIZ -- Sorry, fella, the dinner rush is over. We were about to
clean up and go home.

ESAU - Well, what DO you have?

LIZ -- We got lot's of red lentil stew.

ESAU - Good! I'll take the whole pot!

LIZ -- He'll take the whole pot of red lentil stew.

(mumbling) Oh. You got any money, mister....ah Esau?

ESAU - Money? I've been hunting for two weeks. I didn't carry
any money!

LIZ -- Sorry. Boss says, no money, no red lentil stew.

ESAU - (Shouts) This is that thing about Dad, isn't it,
Jacob. You never forgave me because Dad liked me best
because I was a hunter and you were a cook.

(to liz) Get him out here, would ya?

LIZ -- Don't get me involved in your family squabbles. I just
work here.

ESAU - Alright, he knows I don't have any money. What does he
want from me?

LIZ -- He says to sign this.

(paper slapped on table)

ESAU - What's this? I'm signing over my birthright as
firstborn for a pot of red lentil stew?

LIZ -- Sign it or don't sign it. It makes no difference to
me. You're gonna stiff me on the tip anyway.

ESAU - Alright...there. I signed it. Now can I have my stew?

LIZ -- (approaching) One pot of red lentil stew coming right up. 
There you go.

ESAU - (mouth full) Oh, this is good. Mmmmm this is good.

LIZ -- So, what do you want for dessert when your done there?

ESAU - (mouth full) Chocolate cream pie.

LIZ -- Sorry, we're out of pie.

ESAU - (mouth full) Banana split.

LIZ -- Sorry, no ice cream.

ESAU - (mouth full, screams)


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