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EDEN     5'2m0f An attempt to interview Adam and Eve fails

Rich --- (British accent) Good morning and welcome to another 
edition of "Through the Ages." I'm your host, Richard Wilkins. 
And today's edition of "Through the Ages" comes to you from the 
Garden of Eden. (struggles) I am making my way through the lush 
vegetation here toward the center of the garden, where we will 
have an exclusive interview with the first inhabitants on 
planet earth, none other than Adam and Eve.

Satan -- (brooklyn accent) Hey, watch it, there, buddy.

Rich --- Huh? Who's there? I don't see anybody. Adam, is that 
you?

Satan -- No, it's not Adam, you knuckle head. It's me.

Rich --- I still don't see you. Say, wait a minute. If you're not 
Adam, then you must be Eve.

Satan -- You think I sound like a woman? Thanks a lot nitwit!

Rich --- I'm sorry, it's just that in all this lush vegetation, 
I can't see anyone.

Satan -- That's because you're looking around, Dufas! Look down.

Rich --- (screams) Ahg! A snake!

Satan -- What did you expect, pinhead?

Rich --- (screams) Aaaah! 

Satan -- What's the matter now?

Rich --- The snake is talking!

Satan -- Oh, brilliant. Is that what passes for broadcast 
journalism?

Rich --- You're actually talking!

Satan -- Of course.

Rich --- If you're a serpent who talks, you must be... Satan?

Satan -- What amazing powers of deduction, dumb nut. You must 
have read your bible.

Rich --- Well, I'll be darned!

Satan -- What's the matter? Don't you believe the Bible? Don't 
you think a snake can talk?

Rich --- Well, no, I....

Satan -- See, that's the problem with a lot of people. They 
don't take the Bible literally. Well, perhaps it's just as well.

Rich --- What do you mean?

Satan -- Well, in my business...

Rich --- Business? What business are you in, if you don't mind 
my asking.

Satan -- You might say I'm in the advertising business.

Rich --- The advertising business?

Satan -- Yeah, a little exaggeration here, a little bending of 
the truth there, and wham! I got 'em -- another one bites the 
dust.

Rich --- You mean, you lie and you deceive.

Satan -- Hey, listen, Marvin....

Rich --- My name is Richard, Richard Wilkins, I'm the host of a 
radio show called "Through the Ages." Maybe you've heard of me?

Satan -- Whatever. Listen, Marvin, it isn't like I grab people 
by the neck and drag them down to the lake of fire. How could I? 
I don't have any hands. See? (chuckles)

Rich --- Yes, very funny.

Satan -- Do I detect a little hostility here, Marvin?

Rich --- It's Richard.

Satan -- Whatever. Listen, Marvin, I have a job to do, just like 
you. You go where you have to go, do what you have to do to get 
the job done. Right? Well, I'm no different... (chuckles) Except 
I have to crawl on my belly. But I go where I have to go, do 
what I have to do to win converts. What's the harm?

Rich --- You rob people of their ability to live eternally with 
their creator. That's the harm.

Satan -- Shshshsh. Hey, Marvin, could you keep the CREATOR thing 
a little low key?

Rich --- Low key? What do you mean?

Satan -- Well, I've got these two naked people... what are their 
names again?

Rich --- Adam and Eve.

Satan -- Whatever. Anyways, I've got them thinking that maybe 
they was created by a process of evolution... You know, that 
mutation and natural selection thing?

Rich --- Yes, I know all about it. It's a big hoax.

Satan -- Shshshsh. Hey, Marvin, can you keep your voice down?! 
They'll hear you!

Rich --- Well, maybe that's not such a bad idea.

Satan -- Look, pal, I've worked for weeks on these naked 
people.... ah,...

Rich --- Adam and Eve.

Satan -- Whatever. I've worked hard to get them to think maybe 
they're as good as God. And I don't want you messing things up.

Rich --- What do you mean, messing things up. Messing what up?

Satan -- Well, I'm this close to...

Rich --- How close?

Satan -- Hey, Marvin, I don't have any fingers or I'd show you 
how close, okay? But, I've almost got the naked lady ready to 
eat the fruit on the forbidden tree. So, I don't want you going 
in there and undoing all my work.

Rich --- We'll see about that. I have an appointment with them 
for on on-air interview. Maybe I'll just tell them that you're 
not just the average neighborhood snake. So, if you'll excuse 
me....

Satan -- Alright, have it your way, Marvin.

Rich --- My name is Richard Wilkins.

Satan -- Whatever. If you think you can change her mind, have at 
it.

Rich --- So, which way are they?

Satan -- That way.

Rich --- Which way?

Satan -- (chuckles) That's a little snake humor there, Marvin. I 
don't have any fingers to point with.

Rich --- So, which way?

Satan -- Between the two tall trees and around the big bush.

Rich --- Thank you.

Satan -- (afar) See ya, Marvin

Rich --- (struggles) Once again, ladies and gentlemen, I work my 
way through the dense vegetation,... between these two tall 
trees and... around this large bush, and... hey, wait a minute, 
I'm back outside the garden!

Satan -- (echos laughter)

(woman's scream)


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