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BLIND    4'2m0f Elisha summons an army of angels against siege

(COMMANDER, a macho man is near, ELISHA, a jewish senior 
citizen, speaks from afar)

COMMANDER -- Alright, Elisha, come on out. We've got the entire 
city surrounded.

ELISHA ----- (yawns) Hey, what's all the racket out there. 
You're going to wake everybody up.

COMMANDER -- Are you Elisha the prophet?

ELISHA ----- Yes, and there'd better be a good reason why you 
woke a man out of a sound sleep.

COMMANDER -- You don't seem to understand, Elisha. We've got 
your entire city surrounded with soldiers carrying swords and 
spears. And we've also got chariots with expert bowsman, just in 
case you decide to make a run for it. Now, come out of there 
with your hands up.

ELISHA ----- What do you want me for?

COMMANDER -- We wanted to assassinate the king of Israel, but 
you... you kept prophesying when we were coming and where we 
were coming from. But no more. Your prophecy days are over. Now 
be a good boy and give yourself up, before we have to do 
something drastic.

ELISHA ----- No.

COMMANDER -- Awe, come on. You don't have a prayer.

ELISHA ----- You have no idea.

COMMANDER -- What do you mean by that?

ELISHA ----- I suggest you leave now. We've got you outnumbered.

COMMANDER -- (chuckles) Nice try, buddy. I happen to know that 
the Israeli army is miles from here.

ELISHA ----- I'm not talking about the Israeli army. I'm talking 
about the heavenly host that's surrounding you right now.

COMMANDER -- (chuckles) Where do you come up with this stuff, 
fella? Now, are you coming along quietly, or am I going to have 
send some men in there and carry you out, feet first?

ELISHA ----- You'll do no such thing.

COMMANDER -- Alright, you asked for it. (shouts) Alright, 
troops, advance on the city on the count of three. One... 
two...

ELISHA ----- Wait! Hold it.

COMMANDER -- That's more like it.

ELISHA ----- I'll give you one last chance to walk away, or my 
heavenly host will blind every eye in your army.

COMMANDER -- Buddy, you a really a piece of work. Do you write 
your own material?

ELISHA ----- Well, if that's a NO, you leave me no choice. But 
before they strike you blind, you'd better have a look at your 
conquerors.

COMMANDER -- Conquerors? What conquerors? 

(whooosh)

Hey, that's neat. How did you do that? Those look just like real 
angels and firey chariots... thousands of them. Hey, that's a 
cute trick. How did you do that? Smoke and mirrors?

ELISHA ----- I didn't do it. It was the Lord God almighty who 
did it. Now, I'm sorry he has to do this to you, but...

(whooosh)

COMMANDER -- Hey! Who turned off the lights?! Anybody got a 
match? It's pitch dark out here.

ELISHA ----- The lights aren't out. You're blind.

COMMANDER -- I can't even see my hand in front of my face. Say, 
fella, I don't know how you did that, but it's not smoke and 
mirrors. (shouts) Now hear this, soldiers. If any of you can 
see, advance on the city and bring out Elisha. Charge!

ELISHA ----- Nobody's moving, Commander, they're all blind.

COMMANDER -- Then, I'll bring you out myself. Where are you?

ELISHA ----- (farther) I'm over here.

COMMANDER -- (afar) He's behind us, men. Draw your swords. After 
him! Oooo. Aaaah. Oooo. I stubbed my toe. Ooooo. Aaaah. Ooooo. 
Help me up, somebody. Ooooo. Ouch. (pause, approaching) Oooo. 
Aaaah. Keep going men. As soon as you catch up with him, Bring 
him to me. Oooo. Aaaah. Elisha, where are you?

ELISHA ----- (afar) I'm right here, ahead of you, commander. And 
the Lord is about to remove your blindness.

COMMANDER -- (near) Did you hear that men? As soon as you can 
see, bring Elijah to me.

ELISHA ----- Now, Lord, remove the blindness from the enemy.

(blades clash)

COMMANDER -- Hey, this isn't fair. The Israeli Army was supposed 
to miles away. 

ELISHA ----- You walked right into their hands.

COMMANDER -- Alright, I'm ready. What are you waiting for? Run us 
through. Finish us off.

ELISHA ----- We're not going to kill you.

COMMANDER -- You're not? What are you going to do to us?

ELISHA ----- We're going to feed you and send you home.

COMMANDER -- We can't go home like this! How am I going to 
explain this to my king?

ELISHA ----- Tell him you encountered a superior force.

COMMANDER -- You mean superior forces, don't you?

ELISHA ----- No, I mean A superior force.

COMMANDER -- Oh, yeah, him.


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