WIDOW    5'2m0f The parable of the persistent widow

ED -- And now, sit down, put your feet up, relax and listen
to another edition of... Parables on Parade. Tonight's
parable comes from Luke chapter 18 beginning at
verse 2.

Jesus said: "In a certain town there was a judge who
neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a
widow in that town who kept coming to him with the
plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' For some
time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 
'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet
because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that
she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me
out with her coming!'" 

And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge
says. And will not God bring about justice for his
chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he
keep putting them off? "

FRED -- Cut, cut, cut.

ED -- What do you mean "cut"? And why are you wearing that
silly hat?

FRED -- This is not merely a hat, my friend. This is a beret. It 
makes me look more like a big Hollywood movie director, don't 
you think?

ED -- And why would you want to look like a movie director?

FRED -- I have decided that our Parables on Parade program
lacks that polished look of the big budget Hollywood

ED -- Of course it lack that polished LOOK. This is radio. 
There's nothing to look at.

FRED -- None-the-less, I have taken it upon myself to rewrite 
the "Parable of the Persistent Widow" to give it that wide 
screen feel, with a cast of thousands.

ED -- You're rewriting a parable of our Lord Jesus Christ.

FRED -- Let's just say that I have transformed this 
uninteresting story about a squabble between two uninteresting 
people into a heart rending epic that could win me an Oscar.

ED -- An Oscar.

FRED -- Alright, then, a Golden Mike award. Now, here's you're 
copy of the new script. You read the part of the Judge. I'll do 
the part of the widow.

ED -- You're going for authenticity, then.

FRED -- I will ignore that, as I take my microphone outside the
studio door, 

(door open)

so that our listeners can get the flavor of a conversation 
through the door.

(megaphone) From the top, please.

ED -- Ready when you are, C.B.

FRED -- (megaphone) Quiet in the set please. (Buzzer) Roll
'em. (knock knock knock)

(high voice) I know you're in there, Judge. Open the door.

ED -- Go away. I've already handed down my decision. 

FRED -- How can you treat a poor lonely widow so cruelly. All I 
ask is that you grant me justice against my adversary. (sobs) 
Justice, justice, justice! That's all I ask!

ED -- Heart rending.

FRED -- Just stick to the script. That's all I ask.

ED -- Widows have no rights in Judea. You've gotten all the
justice you'll get from me. Go away.

FRED -- Open the door or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow
your house down.

ED -- The three little pigs?

FRED -- Give me a break. It's my first script.

ED -- No, I won't open the door. Go away.

FRED -- Alright, you asked for it. I'm trampling the zinnias
in your garden.

ED -- No, not my zinnias! Anything but my zinnias!

FRED -- Will you grant me justice against my adversary?

ED -- No, go away.

FRED -- Alright, you asked for it. I'm toilet papering the
tree in your front yard.

ED -- May I remind you that this is radio? Our listeners can't 
hear you trampling zinnias and they certainly can't hear you 
toilet papering the tree.

FRED -- Silly boy. We'll take care of all that in the editing
room. Just read the script.

ED -- No, please don't toilet paper my tree.

FRED -- Will you grant me justice?

ED -- No. Go away.

FRED -- Alright, you asked for it. I'm scratching my finger nails 
across a blackboard.

ED -- Oh, I hate that! Please stop.

FRED -- Will you grant me justice?

ED -- No. I'm wearing ear plugs. Go away before I call the

FRED -- (megaphone) This is the police. We've got your house
surrounded. Come out with your hands up and grant this
poor widow justice.

ED -- Nice try, lady.

FRED -- You louse!

ED -- Snappy dialogue.

FRED -- Quiet! We've got our listeners spell bound by now.
Stick to the script, you louse!

ED -- Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will
never hurt me.

FRED -- Alright, no more Mr Nice-Guy. I'm pulling out all the

ED -- Big deal. What can a poor widow do to a judge.

FRED -- I'll give you one last chance to grant me justice.

ED -- Get lost.

FRED -- Alright, you leave me no choice. I've got a stereo
CD player out here with a 300 watt amplifier and
I'm going to play a Barry Manilow tape.

ED -- No, no! Not Barry Manilow! (open door) I give up. I will 
grant you justice.

FRED -- Thank you, big fellow!

(normal voice) Cut (buzzzz) That's a print. Thanks everybody. 
You've all been mooy marvioso. Love you all. Kiss, kiss.

ED -- Tune in next time for another edition of Parables on

FRED -- (afar) Should I mention your name when I win the award?

ED -- (afar) Keep my name out of it.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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