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VIRGINS  4'2m0f The parable of the ten virgins

ED --   And now, sit down, put your feet up, relax and listen to 
another edition of... Parables on Parade. Tonight's parable is from 
Matthew chapter 25, beginning at verse 1.

"At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who 
took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom."

FRED -- (door opens) I hope you haven't started the parable of the 
ten virgins yet.

ED --   Well, as a matter of fact, I have.

FRED -- You started without me?

ED --   I always start without you because you're always late.

FRED -- Well, this time it was worth waiting for.

ED --   I'm sure.

FRED -- This will be THE most spectacular Parables on Parade EVER!

ED --   My heart is aflutter. Let's get started.

FRED -- Well, frankly, I'm running a little bit behind. There was a 
lot to do to get this production off the ground.

ED --   Pray tell.

FRED -- I have decided to reenact the entire parable complete with 
ten virgins. I thought I'd play the part of the bridegroom.

ED --   Why not? 

FRED -- I thought you'd like it.

ED --   Morality in America being what it is, I'm surprised you 
found ten virgins to do the parts. Where are they?

FRED -- Well, actually, I'm expecting hundreds of virgins to burst 
through those doors any minute.

ED --   Hundreds of virgins? But according to the parable...

FRED -- Well, regretfully, I must admit that we won't be able to 
start the play right away. We have to hold auditions first.

ED --   You mean our listeners will have to sit through auditions?

FRED -- Yes! It will be fascinating for them don't you think?

ED --   Well, I don't know...

FRED -- Trust me, this will be the most memorable parables in the 
series.... Just as soon as the virgins get here.

ED --   Well, as long as we're subjecting our audience to a 
behind-the-scenes look at Parables on Parade, why don't you tell our 
listeners about the other behind- he-scenes details that you had to 
take care of to make this SPECTACULAR a reality.

FRED -- Details?

ED --   Yes, you know, like, where did you find ten extra 
microphones for your ten virgins? And how did you hook them all 
up?

FRED -- I knew I forgot something.

ED --   So, you're going to have ten female voices and no 
microphones?

FRED -- I'm the producer. I can't think of everything!

ED --   Right.

FRED -- However, I did remember to bring the ten authentic lamps 
spoken of in the parable. Look here.

ED --   Well, very impressive! They look like authentic 
reproductions of first century oil lamps. Very good. Where's the 
olive oil?

FRED -- The what?

ED --   The olive oil. First century lamps burned olive oil.

FRED -- Well, I'll be darned. I was looking for the slot to put 
batteries in.

ED --   Oh Brother. It doesn't matter. Our listeners can't see the 
lamps anyway.

FRED -- Hey, no problem. We'll have hundreds of virgins here for the 
audition. We'll just send half of them out for oil, when they get 
here.

ED --   And when will that be?

FRED -- Any second now, they'll be streaming through that door.

ED --   Any second now.

FRED -- And second.

ED --   Just as a behind-the-scenes glimpse of what it takes to put 
on a SPECTACULAR like this. Tell our listeners what newspaper you 
used to run your casting call for 10 virgins.

FRED -- The casting call! I knew I forgot something!

ED --   You forgot to run the casting call in the trade papers?

FRED -- It could happen to anyone. Anyway, this is radio. We 
can fake it.

ED --   You want to fake ten virgins?

FRED -- Trust me, we can make this work. I've got the ten lamps.

ED --   With no oil.

FRED -- This is radio. They can't see that the lamps aren't 
lit.

ED --   This is so appropriate.

FRED -- Was that a slam?

ED --   The parable of the Ten virgins is all about being prepared. 
Boy, did you ever make the point!

FRED -- I resemble that remark.

ED --   Well, if we can't dramatize the parable, perhaps we should 
read it to our listeners from a paraphrased Bible. Did you bring 
back my green Bible?

FRED -- I knew I forgot something!

ED --   Tune in next time for another edition of Parables on Parade.

FRED -- (afar) No, no. Don't sign off yet. I just left your 
Bible in my car. My keys. What did I do with my keys?


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