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UNFRUITF 4'2m0f The parable of the unfruitful tree

ED --   And now, sit down, put your feet up, relax and listen to 
another edition of... Parables on Parade. Tonight's parable 
comes from Luke chapter 13 beginning at verse 6.

Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his 
vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find 
any. So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 'For 
three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig 
tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up 
the soil?' "'Sir ,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one 
more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it. If it bears 
fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.'" 

FRED -- The man OBVIOUSLY knows nothing about horticulture.

ED --   And I suppose you do?

FRED -- Pfff. That goes without saying.

ED --   But, I suppose you'll say it, anyway.

FRED -- Exactly. Now, I knew that sooner or later you'd be 
getting around to the parable of the unfruitful tree. So, I have 
been preparing for this event for weeks. First, I have prepared 
a slide show. Lights Please!

ED --   You realize, of course...

FRED -- Lights, PLEASE.

ED --   Alright. (click)

FRED -- (click, click) This first slide shows a miserable, 
emaciated fig tree the day I acquired it. 

ED --   That's not a fig tree

FRED -- See, there you go again, getting picky.

ED --   But, it's not even a tree. It's a broad-leafed plant.

FRED -- Picky, picky, picky.

ED --   What kind of plant is that, anyway? I've never seen a 
plant like that.

FRED -- But we digress.

ED --   My mother had one of every plant imaginable and she 
never had one that looked like that. Where did you get it?

FRED -- I found it in a dumpster outside the United States 
Customs office. But we digress.

ED --   This plant might have been confiscated when someone 
tried to illegally import it.

FRED -- Or maybe it was a plant in someone's corner office. Who 
cares!?

ED --   There's a reason it was in the dumpster, are you sure...

FRED -- But we digress! We have a slide show going on here, 
remember? (click, click) This next slide shows the amazing 
recovery of the plant after only two weeks in my care. Notice 
the rich green color has returned. (click, click) This next 
slide shows the plant one month after I rescued it from certain 
destruction. Notice that at this stage the plant is as tall as 
me.

ED --   Doesn't it strike you as odd that a plant grows average 
of one foot per week?

FRED -- Yes, indeed! It is a Testament to my skill, care and 
nurture of this once wretched plant. (click, click) And now turn 
the lights on. I will show you, up close and personal, what a 
plant looks like after only five weeks in the hands of a true 
horticulturist. (door opens) (afar) Bring it in fellas. Set it 
right there. Thanks, guys. That'll be all. (door close) (near) 
Well, what do you think?

ED --   It's grown another two feet in one week!

FRED -- I knew you'd be impressed.

ED --   And look at the size of the flowers on that thing, you 
could put your head inside there!

FRED -- Did I do good or what?!

ED --   Are you sure this thing is not dangerous?

FRED -- Well, I can't deny that it must LOOK a little 
intimidating. My dog and cat ran away from home last week.

ED --   Are you sure they ran away.

FRED -- They must not have liked the way the plant was just 
taking over my apartment. The cat disappear almost a week ago, 
the dog disappeared a couple days later.

ED --   Oh, oh. Well, if you don't mind, I'll just step outside 
the studio to do the sign-off. (open door)

FRED -- Where are you going? I want to show you how the flowers 
seem to follow you around the room.

Ed --   Later, maybe. (close door) Tune in next time for another 
edition of...

FRED -- (afar) Aaaaaaaaaaah!

ED --   Parables on Parade. (open door, afar) What's the matter? 
What happened? Where'd he go? Hello?!


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