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STORMY   6'2m0f Jesus walks on water, so does Peter, sort of.

HARRY -- Ladies and Gentlemen, we are fortunate to have in our 
studio none other than the famous apostle Peter. Peter, say 
hello to all your friends and followers.

PETER -- Hi, everybody.

HARRY -- Peter, you're here to help us dramatize one of the
great miracles that Jesus performed while he was here on earth.

PETER -- Yes, I am. And I'm really excited about it. My life 
will never be the same since the night I actually walked on the 
water with Jesus.

HARRY -- Yes, friends, this account of Jesus and Peter walking 
on the water was witnessed by at least a dozen people. It has 
been written about and talked about. But now, you will hear a 
dramatization of that miraculous event by Apostle Peter himself.
Are you ready, Peter?

Peter -- Ready.

HARRY -- (Two descending pipe organ chords, deep voice, perfect 
pronunciation) It was a dark and stormy night...

(thunder)

PETER -- Aaaaaah! What was that!?

HARRY -- Do you mind?! The tape is rolling. We're recording 
here.

PETER -- Well, I'm sorry. But we didn't have thunder during the 
rehearsals. Is there any way we could add the sound effects 
later?

HARRY -- No. I'm sorry, we're under a deadline here.

PETER -- Oh. Ah. Okay, then, I guess I'll get have to get used 
to it. 

HARRY -- Good. We'll just take it from the top. (clears throat) 
Here we go. (pause, pipe organ chords) It was a dark and stormy 
night...

(thunder)

Jesus had his disciples get into the boat and begin to row 
across the Sea of Galilee. But he stayed behind to rest and 
pray. Suddenly, a great storm blew up over the disciples, whose 
boat was now beyond the middle of the lake...

(thunder)

PETER -- Aaaah!

HARRY -- Oh, brother.

PETER -- I'm sorry. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'm used to it 
now... I think. No, I'm fine.

HARRY -- I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about the tape. 
We're recording, remember?

PETER -- Sorry. It won't happen again.

HARRY -- From the top. (pause, pipe organ chords) It was a dark 
and stormy night...

(thunder)

PETER -- Aaaaah! (pause) I'm sorry. I... I thought I was 
prepared for it. It's just a thing I have about thunder. When I 
was a kid there was a storm and...

HARRY -- ...I'm sure that this is a very enlightening story, but 
the tape IS rolling. Can we please try to finish this recording 
before the end of the century?

PETER -- Yes. I'm sorry. It's just that with real thunder, 
there's lightning first to warn you. Then you can count the 
number of seconds until the flash and divide by seven....

HARRY -- We don't have time for a dissertation on the speed of 
sound. Can we just get on with this?

PETER -- Oh. Sure. From the top?

HARRY -- (pause, pipe organ chords) It was a dark and stormy 
night...

(thunder)

PETER -- Aaaaaah!

HARRY -- Mama said there'd be days like this.

PETER -- I can do this. I know I can. But, is there anyway I can 
turn down the volume of the thunder in just my headphones?

HARRY -- Yes, of course. Just flick that switch there on your 
left. 

PETER -- Oh, this one here?

HARRY -- No, your other lef....

(one bar of loud "Stars and stripes forever")

PETER -- Oh, THAT left. Sorry.

HARRY -- Yes, but remember. It not only turns off the thunder, 
it turns off everything.

PETER -- I'm sorry. I see you moving your lips but I can't hear 
what your saying. Can you repeat that?

HARRY -- Oh, brother. Here. (click) There can you hear me?

PETER -- Oh. I guess it not only turns off the thunder. It turns 
off everything, huh?

HARRY -- Brilliant.

PETER -- Well, now that I have the hang of this, I bet we'll get 
it in one take.

HARRY -- We've already had four takes.

PETER -- Oh, yeah. That's right. From the top, then?

HARRY -- (pause, pipe organ chords) It was a dark and stormy 
night...

(thunder)

Jesus had his disciples get into the boat and begin to row 
across the Sea of Galilee. But he stayed behind to rest and 
pray. Suddenly, a great storm blew up over the disciples, whose 
boat was now beyond the middle of the lake...

(thunder)

When Jesus appeared to them walking in the water, the disciples 
were terrified. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take 
courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."  Then Peter replied....
Then Peter replied.... Hello.

PETER -- Huh? Oh, is it my line now? I had the switch turned 
off.

HARRY -- Oh, brother.

PETER -- Listen, I swear, I'll get it this time. All the way 
through.

HARRY -- If I don't die of old age first.

PETER -- From the top, then?

HARRY -- (pause, pipe organ chords) It was a dark and stormy 
night...

(thunder)

Jesus had his disciples get into the boat and begin to row 
across the Sea of Galilee. But he stayed behind to rest and 
pray. Suddenly, a great storm blew up over the disciples, whose 
boat was now beyond the middle of the lake...

(thunder)

When Jesus appeared to them walking in the water, the disciples 
were terrified. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take 
courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."  Then Peter replied....

PETER -- "Lord, if it's you, tell me to come to you on the 
water."

HARRY -- Jesus said "Come". Then Peter got down out of the boat, 
walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when Peter saw 
the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 

(thunder)

PETER -- Aaaaaah!

HARRY -- Oh, brother. Peter, the line is "Lord, save me!" 
Remember?

PETER -- I know. I know. Don't you think I know that?

HARRY -- I think I'll try another ministry. The Sunday school 
always needs teachers.

PETER -- I can do this. I know I can. Give it another try. From 
the top, huh?

HARRY -- (pause, pipe organ chords) It was a dark and stormy 
night...

(thunder)

Jesus had his disciples get into the boat and begin to row 
across the Sea of Galilee. But he stayed behind to rest and 
pray. Suddenly, a great storm blew up over the disciples, whose 
boat was now beyond the middle of the lake...

(thunder)

When Jesus appeared to them walking in the water, the disciples 
were terrified. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take 
courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."  Then Peter replied....

PETER -- Lord, if it's you tell me to come to you on the 
water.

HARRY -- Jesus said "Come". Then Peter got down out of the boat, 
walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when Peter saw 
the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 

(thunder)

PETER -- Lord save me!

HARRY -- Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 
"You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"  When they 
reached the boat. Peter bowed down and worshipped Jesus and 
said...

(thunder)

PETER -- Aaaaaah!

HARRY -- (afar) Oh, brother.

(door open)

PETER -- Where are you going?

HARRY -- (afar) To Sunday school.

(door close)


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