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SLIDES   3'1m1f Paul recruits new apostles with a slide show

DOT --- Class? Settle down please. Class, as part of our career 
week activities, we have asked another member of our community 
to come and share his career with you. Please welcome Saul of 
Tarsus.

PAUL -- Thank you, Miss Thornberry, but I changed my name to 
Paul.

DOT --- Well, Paul, it says here that you are an apostle.

PAUL -- Yes.

DOT --- First of all, tell us how you became and apostle.

PAUL -- Well, first, I was blinded. Then I was thrown off my 
mule and hurled to the ground.

DOT --- Oh, dear! What I meant was, what training did you have 
to undergo to become an Apostle.

PAUL -- I spent three years in the desert in Saudi Arabia.

DOT --- That's an unusual place for a university.

PAUL -- Oh, there's no school out there. Just a lot of sand and 
sun.

DOT --- You were alone in the desert for three years?

PAUL -- Me and the Holy Spirit.

DOT --- The Holy Spirit... yes, of course. But how did you 
survive. What did you eat?

PAUL -- This guy named John the Baptist, who I met in a prison 
some time ago, gave me a few pointers on surviving in the 
desert.

DOT --- And what did he tell you to eat?

PAUL -- Locusts and wild honey.

DOT --- Excuse me for a moment. 

(footsteps, door opens, closes, muffled vomit sounds)

PAUL -- Okay, so welcome to the wonderful world of Apostleship. 
I brought along a few slides of my travels as an apostle.

(clicks)

Okay, so this is a slide of me in Damascus, being lowered down 
the outside of the city wall in a basket to avoid being killed 
by a violent mob.

(click)

This one in Lystra shows seven guys trying to stone me to death. 

(door opens, closes, footsteps)

DOT --- What's that red thing under that pile of rocks?

PAUL -- That's me. My robe started out white. The red was from 
all the blood.

DOT --- Excuse me for a moment. 

(footsteps, door opens, closes, muffled vomit sounds)

PAUL -- Here's Silas and me coming put of prison in Philippi.

(click)

And these are some well-meaning Jews in Jerusalem, waiting to 
ambush and kill me. The Roman army whisked me out of town just 
after this picture was taken.

(click)

Oh, and here's my favorite. This is a poisonous snake that bit 
my hand and wouldn't let go. I finally shook it off and it 
landed on the bonfire and exploded.

(door opens, closes, footsteps)

DOT --- Excuse me for a moment. 

(footsteps, door opens, closes, muffled vomit sounds)

PAUL -- But, as you can see, the poisonous snake didn't kill me. 
I'm still alive. Just two little scars, right here.

(click)

And last but certainly not least, here's what's left of our ship 
after our shipwreck after three weeks adrift at sea. 
Miraculously, not one of us was killed. But several of us lost 
about 20 pounds because we didn't eat anything for a couple of 
weeks.

(click)

So, that's about it. 

(door opens, closes, footsteps)

DOT --- Class, if any of you are interested in being an apostle, 
I have a sign up sheet right....

PAUL -- Miss Thornberry, they're all leaving. Is the class over 
already?

DOT --- Class is that any way to treat a visitor? Class?


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