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SHELTERS 3'3m0f Peter, James & John's mountain-top experience

PETER -- (deepens his voice) Jesus said "I tell you the truth, 
some who are standing here will not taste death before they see 
the Son of Man coming in his kingdom." After six days Jesus took 
with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led 
them up a high mountain by themselves.    

(birds songs, crickets)

PETER -- (regular voice) Well, here we are up on the mountain.

JAMES -- You sound a lot like the announcer. 

PETER -- Just read your lines.

JAMES -- Oh, should we start over?

(birds songs, crickets)

PETER -- Well, here we are up on the mountain.

JAMES -- Where is everybody?

PETER -- That's not your line.

JAMES -- I know, but count the number of people in this sketch. 
Jesus... Peter... James... and John. That's four characters. I 
only count two microphones. What's the deal?

PETER -- You just ruined it. The listeners wouldn't have known 
that if you hadn't mentioned it. Nice going, dipstick.

JAMES -- Sorry. Should we start over?

(birds songs, crickets)

PETER -- Well, here we are up on the mountain.

JAMES -- Huh?

PETER -- What is it now?

JAMES -- That noise. 

PETER -- What noise?

JAMES -- That chirping sound. It happens every time you start to 
talk.

PETER -- Those are birds. We're outside on a mountain top.

JAMES -- No, we're not.

PETER -- You did it again.

JAMES -- Did what?

PETER -- You spoiled it. If you hadn't talked about it, the 
listeners wouldn't have know that we are in a soundproof studio.

JAMES -- Oh, so, the chirping is just a tape recording.

PETER -- Oh, brilliant.

JAMES -- Should we start over?

(birds songs, crickets)

PETER -- Well, here we are up on the mountain.

JAMES -- I wonder why Jesus brought us up here on the mountain.

PETER -- Oh, look, up in the sky!

JAMES -- That's not the sky. That's the ceiling. All that's up 
there is ceiling tiles and light fixtures.

PETER -- Oh, brother. We're never going to get through this 
script.

JAMES -- Oh. I... I'm sorry. I thought you were... Sorry about 
that. Should we start over?

PETER -- I really don't think that will be necessary. I'm sure 
the listeners have it MEMORIZED BY NOW! READ YOUR NEXT LINE!

JAMES -- Oh, yes, up in the sky. It looks like Moses and Elijah 
descending from heaven.

PETER -- Let us put up three [shelters]--one for you, one for 
Moses and one for Elijah.

JAMES -- What am I going to do with a shelter?

PETER -- That's not your line.

JAMES -- Oh, I did it again, didn't I?

(door open)

What. Where are you going?

(door close)

Hey, what about this story. Hey! Oh, well, nobody is going to 
believe this story anyway.

(thunder)

What was that? Is that smoke? No. There's a cloud forming in the 
studio. Hey! Let me out of here.

(latch, latch, latch)

Hey!

(thunder)

GOD ---- (Echos & base boost) This is my Son, whom I have 
chosen; listen to him.

(door open, close)

PETER -- Alright, I'm back. I forgive you. Let's take it from 
the top.

(birds and crickets)

Well, here we are up on the mountain. (pause) Alright, what is 
it now? Why are you looking up? There's nothing up there except 
ceiling tiles and light fixtures. Remember? You said so 
yourself. Hello? Hello?


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