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RICHFOOL 4'2m0f The parable of the rich fool

ED --   And now, sit down, put your feet up, relax and listen to 
another edition of... Parables on Parade. Tonight's parable is from 
Luke chapter 12, beginning at verse 16.

And he told them this parable: the soil of a certain rich man 
produced a good crop.

FRED -- Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

ED --   What are you doing?

FRED -- I'm a certain rich man and I'm putting the top down on my 
red Corvette convertible.

ED --   Rich men don't drive Corvette's. They drive expensive foreign 
cars.

FRED -- Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

ED --   What are your doing now?

FRED -- I'm a certain rich man and I'm putting the top down on my 
red Ferrari convertible. Come on, hop in. I'll take you on a tour of 
my vast holdings.

ED --   Alright, I'll take a ride in your imaginary car. Let's go.

FRED -- Not until you fasten your seat belt.

ED --   My seat belt? Okay, my silly imaginary is seat belt 
is fastened. Let's go.

FRED -- Oh no you don't. Your seat belt isn't fastened until you go 
"kachink".

ED --   And you want me to....

FRED -- Go ahead, it won't kill you.

ED --   Alright...kachink.

FRED -- Alright, hang on! (makes engine noises with mouth) How's 
that? Zero to sixty in 5.1 seconds!

ED --   Very nice. Remind me, now, just why are we riding in your 
car?

FRED -- We're touring my vast holdings. I'm rich, you know.

ED --   I see.

FRED -- Did you know that the soil produced a good crop this year?

ED --   So I've read.

FRED -- Grain fields as far as the eye can see. Beautiful color too. 
Let's see, what color is it? (sings) Oh beautiful for spacious 
skies, for amber... amber... beautiful amber waves of grain, don't 
you think?

ED --   Beautiful. Just what are you going to do with all this 
grain?

FRED -- Silly. I'll put it in my barns, of course. See my barns? I 
just had them built. State-of-the-art construction, you know.

ED --   I see. Well, I'm no expert, but it looks to me like this 
bumper crop of grain won't fit into your new barns.

FRED -- Think so?

ED --   That's what the Lord said in the parable.

FRED -- Well, he ought to know.

ED --   Uh huh.

FRED -- Well, what the heck. I'm rich. I'll tear down my barns and 
build bigger barns.

ED --   Listen, you're already rich. You drive the nicest car...

FRED -- You ought to see my 55-inch big screen TV with stereo 
surround sound.

ED --   Like I said, you already have everything you could possibly 
want. Why store up more wealth, when now would be a good time to 
give some of your grain to the poor and the homeless?

FRED -- What turnip truck did you fall off of, fella? I'm rich. You 
don't get rich to give stuff away. You get rich to eat, drink and be 
merry.

ED --   Haven't you forgotten who made you rich? Shouldn't you give 
some of your wealth back to the Lord?

FRED -- Are you kidding? I'm a self-made man. I got rich by wise 
investments and shrewd dealings. What does the Lord have to do with 
it?

ED --   Click, jingle, jingle.

FRED -- What was that?

ED --   That was the Lord, turning off your car and taking away the 
keys.

FRED -- Oh, man! He can't do that!

ED --   He can. And he'll take away more than that.

FRED -- Oh, not my 55-inch big screen TV with stereo surround sound!

ED --   Creeeeek, thud.

FRED -- What was that?

ED --   That was the lid of your coffin closing.

FRED -- He wouldn't go that far, would he?

ED --   The Lord said that's what will happen to the rich fool who 
stores up riches for himself, but is not rich toward God.

FRED -- Fool?! Who you calling a fool, buddy?!

ED --   And that's our parable for tonight on... Parade of Parables. 
Tune in next time, won't you, for another...

FRED -- I'm not staying around here so you can call me a fool. 
Slam!

ED --   What was that?

FRED -- That was the door. I just left.


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