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PREGNANT 4'3m1f The barber shop guys hear that Mary is Pregnant

(door opens, bell jingle)

FRED ---- Morning, Charlie. 

(door closes)

CHARLIE - Morning, Fred. The usual?

FRED ---- Just take a little off the side today, huh, Charlie?

CHARLIE - Sure.

(clipping noises) 

FRED ---- Hey, Charlie, did you hear about Joseph's girl friend?

Knocked up?

FRED ---- Higher than a kite.

CHARLIE - (whispers) Quiet! Here comes Joseph!

(door opens, bell jingles)

JOE ----- Hi, Charlie. Good morning, Fred.

(door closes)

CHARLIE - Good morning, Joseph.

FRED ---- Helllloooo, Joseph!

JOE ----- What. Do I have something in my teeth?

CHARLIE - Do you have anything to tell us, Joseph?

JOE ----- Excuse me?

CHARLIE - The bun in the oven?

FRED ---- Don't play dumb, you rabbit killer.

JOE ----- Oh. The baby. Nobody was suppose to know...

CHARLIE - You sly dog.

JOE ----- Oh, you think I...

FRED ---- You ain't gonna deny it, are you Joseph?

JOE ----- Ah, well,... no. She claims it's gonna be a boy. 

CHARLIE - It takes a real man to make a boy.

FRED ---- Alright! You dog! I didn't know you had it in you!

JOE ----- Nothing to it.

(door opens, bell jingles)

MARY ----  Oh, there you are, Joseph.

JOE ----- Mary, what are you doing here?

MARY ----  Joseph, the Rabbi wants us to...

CHARLIE - Is this the little lady, Joseph?

FRED ---- Aren't you going to introduce us, Joseph?

JOE ----- Ah, yes, of course. Mary, this is Fred and Charlie.

(door closes)

MARY ---- How do you do. 

JOE ----- Sorry, guys, gotta go.

FRED ---- Congratulations, little mother.

MARY ---- Joseph, you told them about the baby?

JOE ----- Well, I, ah,...

MARY ---- Joseph, they might not understand.

CHARLIE - Understand what?

JOE ----- We should go. 

FRED ---- Understand what, Joseph?

JOE ----- We really have to go. The Rabbi is waiting.

CHARLIE - How did you know that the baby would be a boy, Mary?

JOE ----- We really don't have time to get into that now...

MARY ---- The angel Gabriel told me.

JOE ----- We really should go...

FRED ---- You were visited by an angel?

MARY ---- Yes, didn't Joseph tell you?

CHARLIE - Joseph never said anything about an angel.

JOE ----- It was just an oversight. 

MARY ---- Joseph has never been much for details. See, the angel
Gabriel...

JOE ----- It's a long story. Maybe another time.

MARY ---- It's not Joseph's baby.

CHARLIE & FRED - Not Joseph's baby?!

CHARLIE - Joseph! I can't believe you took credit for somebody
else's handywork.

FRED ---- I hope you're not considering marrying this tart,
Joseph.

JOE ----- Well, yes. We're on the way to see the Rabbi now.
Let's go, Mary.

MARY ---- You should have told them, Joseph.

CHARLIE - Told us what?

FRED ---- Charlie, take this sheet off me so I can go to the 
temple and get some men to stone this adultress to death.

JOE ----- I don't think you understand...

FRED ---- Charlie, do you know where we can get some large rocks?

MARY ---- Tell them, Joseph.

CHARLIE - Tell us what?

JOE ----- This isn't what you think.

CHARLIE - Right. And all along we thought that you...

JOE ----- Mary is still a virgin.

CHARLIE - Right.

JOE ----- The baby was conceived by the Holy Spirit.

CHARLIE - Right.

FRED ---- Charlie, take this sheet off me. I got a stoning to do.

MARY ---- You can ask my cousin Elizabeth and her husband 
Zechariah. They're having a baby at about the same time that 
mine is due. He's a miracle baby too. Just ask them.

CHARLIE - Right.

FRED ---- I haven't stoned anybody in weeks.

CHARLIE - Wait a minute, Fred. If Joseph wants to marry her and
make it legal, who are we to judge?

FRED ---- You really gonna marry this bimbo, Joseph?

JOE ----- We'll, yes, I....

MARY ---- That reminds me. We have an appointment with the Rabbi.

JOE ----- Yes, let's get out of here. 

(Door opens, bell jingles)

FRED ---- See you later, Romeo.

CHARLIE - Good bye, stud.

(door closes)

FRED ---- Quiet! Here comes Zechariah!

(Door opens, bell jingles)

ZECHARIAH - Hi, Charlie. Good morning, Fred.

CHARLIE - Good morning, Zechariah.

(Door closes)

FRED ---- Helllloooo, Zechariah.

ZECHARIAH - What. Do I have something in my teeth?

CHARLIE - Do you have anything to tell us, Zechariah?

ZECHARIAH - Excuse me?

CHARLIE - The bun in the oven?

FRED ---- Don't play dumb, you rabbit killer.


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