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HEALING  3'2m0f Jesus heals the fever of Simon's mother-in-law

(both staff announcer's)

JACK -- The gospel according Luke beginning at chapter four and 
verse 38.

GARY -- Testing, testing, testing. Is this one on? Testing, 
testing.

JACK -- What are you doing?

GARY -- I'm testing this microphone.

JACK -- Would you mind? I'm on the air here.

GARY -- Well, I'm sorry, but the boss says I have to do the 
disclaimers.

JACK -- What disclaimers? I'm reading the Bible here. Who are 
you?

GARY -- Oh, ah, I'm from the legal department on the eighth 
floor. And the, ah, you know, the special interest groups are 
suing at the drop of a participle, so the boss says we have to 
do the disclaimers.

JACK -- (sigh) Alright, go ahead.

GARY -- The opinions of this spokesman do not necessarily 
reflect the views of this station.

JACK -- Okay, see you later. (pause) Why aren't you leaving?

GARY -- I have to stay here and read a disclaimer every time you 
say something controversial.

JACK -- So, you're going to hang around here and look over my 
shoulder.

GARY -- Well, yes.

JACK -- (sigh) The gospel according Luke beginning at chapter 
four and verse 38.

GARY -- So far so good. Keep going.

JACK -- You're so kind.

GARY -- Not at all.

JACK -- Jesus left the synagogue and went to the home of Simon. 

GARY -- This stunt was done on a closed track with a 
professional race driver, do not attempt this stunt at home.

JACK -- Oh, brother. Now Simon's mother-in-law was suffering 
from a high fever, and they asked Jesus to help her. 

GARY -- All cases are evaluated on their individual merits. Your 
results may vary.

JACK -- So he bent over her and rebuked the fever, and it left 
her. She got up at once and began to wait on them. 

GARY -- Side effects include dizziness and drowsiness, do not 
operate heavy equipment.

JACK -- When the sun was setting, the people brought to Jesus all who 
had various kinds of sickness, and laying his hands on each one, 
he healed them.

GARY -- Follow label instructions, if symptoms persist see your 
doctor.

JACK -- Moreover, demons came out of many people, shouting, "You 
are the Son of God!"

GARY -- Void where prohibited, prices my vary, supplies limited, 
finance charge 22.5 APR, minimum finance charge 50 cents, wear 
your seat belt.

JACK -- You've got to be kidding!

GARY -- I call 'em as I see 'em.

JACK -- But he rebuked them and would not allow them to speak, 
because they knew he was the Christ. 

GARY -- Do not remove this tag under penalty of law, price 
excludes delivery and dealer prep, license and sales tax extra, 
some items subject to prior sale, 14 day advanced purchase 
required, purchase price is nonrefundable, batteries not 
included, some assembly require.

(door open, close)

GARY -- We'd he go?


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