DEMON    5'4m0f The disciples could not drive out the demon

(large door latch, clank, clank, squeaky hinges)

RALPH -- (softly) This place is creepy. I can't see a thing. Are 
you sure he's in here?

MORRY -- Yeah, his mother said first left after the cemetery, 
down to the end of the road. Well, what are you waiting for? 

RALPH -- (loud whisper) She said the boy was demon possessed.

MORRY -- Silly goose! He's only a little boy. How dangerous 
could the demon be? Come on.

(feet shuffle)

RALPH -- (loud whisper) Wait for me!

(squeaky hinges, door latches, clank)


MORRY -- What.

RALPH -- Where are you?

MORRY -- I'm right here.

RALPH -- Then who closed the door?

DEMON -- (highly filtered, altered, deep base) I closed the 

MORRY -- Oh, thank you.

DEMON -- Your welcome.

RALPH -- Morry?

MORRY -- Yeah.

RALPH -- Who was that?

MORRY -- That was him.

RALPH -- Him? Him Whom?

MORRY -- The kid.

RALPH -- Morry, that was no kid.

BOTH --- (scream)

MORRY -- Let's get out of here!

RALPH -- Which way is the door?

MORRY -- This way, I think.

(feet shuffle)

RALPH -- Oh, great, this is just a stone wall.

MORRY -- Wait. Let's not panic. We came here to drive out a 
demon. Let's drive out a demon. Go ahead and light the lamp. 

RALPH -- I didn't bring the lamp. I thought you brought the 

MORRY -- Then why is it light in here?

RALPH -- Oh, the little boy has a flame coming out of the end of 
his finger.

MORRY -- Oh.

RALPH -- Morry?

MORRY -- Yeah.

RALPH -- Morry, the little boy has a flame coming out of his 

MORRY -- I know, that's what I....

BOTH --- (scream)

MORRY -- Let's get out of here.

(feet suffling, door latch clank, clank, hinges squeak, hinges 
squeak, door latch, clank, pounding on door)

RALPH -- Morry!

(pounding on door)

Morry! You locked me in. Morry! Nice demon. Morry! So, Mr demon, 
have you lived here long?

DEMON -- What are you doing here?

RALPH -- Hey, that was neat. The boy moves his mouth and the 
demons voice comes out. Kind of like a ventriloquist, right? 
(laughs nervously)

DEMON -- (growls)

RALPH -- So, the demon doesn't have a sense of humor. What was 
the question?

DEMON -- (growls)

RALPH -- No, don't tell me. I remember now. You wanted to know 
what we... I was doing here. That no good Morry ran out on me.

DEMON -- (growls)

RALPH -- Yes, of course. Back to the question. What am I doing 
here. Well, I came to drive the demon out of this little boy.

DEMON -- (growls)

RALPH -- But there's no hurry. You can stay as long as you like. 
(laughs nervously) What am I saying? I'm a Christian. Jesus gave 
me authority to drive out demons. You can't hurt me, you big 
stupid demon.

DEMON -- (growls) You little pip squeak. I'll squash you like a 

RALPH -- Wooooo! Put me down! Okay, Okay. So maybe I was little 
hasty in calling you a stupid demon. Obviously a demon that can 
get a little boy to hold a grown man over his head with one hand 
is not stupid. Please don't drop me! Why am I saying please to 
this demon. He's just a demon.

DEMON -- (growls)

RALPH -- Woooo! Alright, demon, you asked for it. Now you've 
made me mad. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. Now come out of 
that little boy! Oh, by the way, set me down first.

DEMON -- (growls)

RALPH -- Woooo! What happened? That rebuking stuff always worked 
before. Maybe he didn't hear me. (clears throat) I rebuke you in 
the name of Jesus.

DEMON -- (growls)

RALPH -- Woooo! Now, Mr Demon, it's not polite to waive a person 
around like a flag. 

(door latch, clank, clank, door hinges squeak)

Now, your in trouble, Mr demon, Jesus is here. Tell him to put 
me down, Jesus.

JESUS -- You have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you 
have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this 
mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing 
will be impossible for you." 

RALPH -- Listen, Jesus, I don't want to rush you, but it's kind 
of embarrassing being held overhead by a little boy. Could you 
just have him put me down?

JESUS -- Ye of little faith. I rebuke this demon in the name of 

RALPH -- Don't you think you should have him put me down first.

(whoosh, thud) 

ooph! Aaah! Or not. It's just a skinned knee. Aaaah! Say, the 
little boy is back to normal! Where is the demon?

JESUS -- He's gone. Let's give this boy back to his mother.

(foot steps)

RALPH -- Listen, Jesus, nobody has to know that he held me over 
his head...

JESUS -- ...One handed.

RALPH -- (fading) Yeah, see how bad that sounds? Let's just tell 
everyone that a ferocious demon held me... captive. Two demons, 

Jesus -- (afar) There was just one.

RALPH -- (afar) Well, maybe, we just won't tell how many of them 
there were. See, if this gets out... Well, you know how the 
other apostles talk. Jesus? Are you listening. Jesus? What do 
you say? Huh?

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