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BANQUET  7'2m0f The parable of the banquet

ED --   And now, sit down, put your feet up, relax and listen to 
another edition of... Parables on Parade. Tonight's parable 
comes from Luke chapter 14 beginning at verse 16.

Jesus replied: "A certain man was preparing a great banquet and 
invited many guests. At the time of the banquet he sent his 
servant to tell those who had been invited, 'Come, for 
everything is now ready.' But they all alike began to make 
excuses. The first said, 'I have just bought a field, and I must 
go and see it. Please excuse me.' Another said, 'I have just 
bought five yoke of oxen, and I'm on my way to try them out. 
Please excuse me.' Still another said, 'I just got married, so I 
can't come.' The servant came back and reported this to his 
master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his 
servant,  'Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the 
town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the 
lame.' 'Sir ,' the servant said, 'what you ordered has been 
done, but there is still room.' 

FRED -- That's because he did it wrong.

ED --   Excuse me? Who did what wrong?

FRED -- This guy had no clue of modern marketing techniques or 
he would have had his banquet room overflowing with people.

ED --   It's just a story...

FRED -- To you it's just a story to me it's a passion!

ED --   Don't tell me. You're taking another night school class.

FRED -- No, silly, I got a new job.

ED --   You got a new job? At an advertising agency? Well, good 
for you. So, what department do you work in?

FRED -- Department?

ED --   Yes. Are you in media, creative, marketing, print media, 
broadcast, what?

FRED -- (low) I'm in the mail room.

ED --   You're in the mail room and you think your an expert on 
advertising?

FRED -- I could sure do a better job at marketing than the guy 
in this parable. Here, unfold my tripod, would you? I want you 
look at my flip charts.

ED --   I had to ask, didn't I?

FRED -- After doing a little research, I determined that Jesus 
was in the city of Jerusalem when this parable happened. So, I 
will assume for purposes of this presentation that the person 
referred to as "a certain man" had the banquet in Jerusalem. So, 
now (paper noise) here is my first chart! It shows the 
demographics of the city of Jerusalem. With my crystal clear 
visual aids, anyone could see his problem.

ED --   Well, it slipped right by me.

FRED -- A child see that "a certain man" should never have 
invited people from the yellow neighborhoods.

ED --   Do you have something against the chinese people?

FRED -- No, silly, the yellow neighborhoods are not chinese, 
they're colored yellow on this map of Jerusalem to show their 
demographics.

ED --   If those are the demographics, where are the 
republicans?

FRED -- Your weak attempt at humor at my expense is duly noted. 
But, since I am wearing a three-piece suit today, my demeanor 
will be strictly business. Let's get back to the chart. 
Demographics is a study of people's age, incomes, family data 
and other factors which can influence their buying habits. This 
charts is a map of Jerusalem with family incomes coded in 
colors. The yellow neighborhoods have such low family incomes that 
they couldn't even afford a tuxedo for the banquet.

ED --   I'm not sure they had tuxedos in Jesus' day.

FRED -- Don't get picky. Now my next chart (paper noise) 
contains demographics that will startle even the novices in our 
audience.

ED --   (gasp) Startling! It's another map of Jerusalem with 
DIFFERENT colored blotches! Startling!

FRED -- I am not accustomed to being made the object of jest. 
But I am a mature adult. And I shall ignore your attempts to 
disrupt this marketing meeting and get back to the chart. I will 
try to explain the demographics in terms that even YOU will 
understand.

ED --   I would be so grateful.

FRED -- This map show neighborhoods have relatively high 
concentrations of children under age 18. As you can see "a 
certain man" would have been a fool to send his servants to the 
magenta neighborhoods.

ED --   Boy, I'll say. Those magentas are fierce rivals of the 
Crypts and Bloods. They carry knives and guns and...

FRED -- If I may have control of the meeting back here. I have 
the three piece suit, the charts AND the pointer. I am in charge 
here.

ED --   Sorry.

FRED -- Now, magenta is not a street gang it's a color. It's 
pink. I was referring to the pink neighborhoods, here, here and 
here. My point is that the pink neighborhoods are poor prospects.

ED --   I'll say. My furniture would clash with pink.

FRED -- (clears throat)

ED --   Sorry.

FRED -- The analysis show that the pink neighborhoods have high 
concentrations of children under twelve years of age. Since they 
would all require baby sitters, last minute invitations to these 
neighborhoods could expect low yields.

ED --   Low yields.

FRED -- And finally, here is my piece-de-resistance (paper 
noise). Voila! 

ED --   Oh, that's terrific! Another map of Jerusalem with 
colored blotches on it! How does he do it!

FRED -- Notice how smoothly the man with the pointer keeps the 
discussion moving, in spite of the hecklers. THESE colors 
represent wage earners in the prime of their wage earning years.

ED --   How wonderful for them!

FRED -- YOU may not see the significance of this, but I do. The 
people in the green neighborhoods not only have grown children, 
but they are also most likely to bring a gift.

ED --   And to think I almost went through an entire day without 
knowing that!

FRED -- In short, if "a certain man" is to maximize his 
marketing efforts, the green neighborhoods would give him what 
we in the advertising business call "more bang for the buck". He 
could have avoided having to send his servants out to the 
country lanes and road to find people to invite to his banquet.

ED --   That was fascinating!

FRED -- Why, thank you.

ED --   Now, I will attempt to wake up our listening audience.

FRED -- What do you mean, "wake them up"?

ED --   Our listeners couldn't SEE a thing. Not in color and not 
in black and white. You keep forgetting this is on radio.

FRED -- Oh.

ED --   Tune in next time for another edition of Parables on 
Parade. (afar) May I take these charts home with me?

FRED -- (afar) Why, yes, I'm flattered you'd ask for them. So, 
you want to study them further, huh?

ED --   (afar) No. I need them for the bottom of my bird cage.


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