BACK

PLANETS2 7' Treasure hunting in outer space

Lucifer Snidely was the world's richest man. He was also the
world's most greedy man. He had more money than anyone else. But
he always wanted more.

Some time ago, he spent stacks and stacks of hundred dollar
bills to bring back diamonds from the rings around the planet
Saturn. But when he got to Saturn, he discovered that the
sparkling diamonds he saw in the telescope were actually ice
cubes. So, he vowed never to look through his telescope again.

But Lucifer Snidely was the world's greediest man. And when he
heard a quiz show question: "What is the closest planet to the
Sun?" The answer: "Mercury".

"Mercury. Where have I heard this word before?" asked Snidely.

He looked up the word MERCURY in the dictionary. It said, "A
heavy metal. The only metal that is liquid at ordinary
temperatures."

Lucifer Snidely jumped up on his coffee table with his hands in
the air and shouted, "Holy socks! There's a planet made of heavy
metal! Gold is a heavy metal. Mercury is just like gold! I could
get rich!"

"You're already the richest man on earth." said his servant.

Snidely replied, "But I want to be more rich!"

Snidely jumped down from the table and ran to his computer. He
looked up the price of mercury and did the arithmetic in his
head.

Lucifer Snidely jumped up on his desk with his hands in the air
and shouted, "Holy socks! If I went to the planet mercury and
brought back a spaceship full of mercury, I could make a million
dollars! Two spaceships is two million! Three spaceships is
three million. There's no limit! I'm rich!"

Then Lucifer Snidely jump down from his desk and ran to his car.
His servant drove him to his helicopter. His helicopter pilot
flew him to the airport and he ran to his airplane. His pilot
flew him to the space center. He climbed up into the space ship
and sat next to the pilot.

"Take me to the planet Mercury!" he demanded.

The astronaut replied, "But I'm not going to Mercury. I'm going
in the other direction."

"You don't understand," said Lucifer Snidely as he pushed a
thick stack of one hundred dollar bills into the hands of the
astronaut and snarled, "I'm the world's richest man, nobody
refuses me. Take me to Mercury now." And he closed the door.

The astronaut replied, "But the computer is set to take us to
Mars. If you want to go to another planet, you'll have to push
the GO button yourself."

Lucifer Snidely pushed a thick stack of one hundred dollar bills
into the hands of the astronaut and snarled like a crocodile and
said, "I must have that mercury! I'll push the GO button myself
if I have to!"

So, the astronaut pushed some switches and pulled some levers
and said, "Push the go button when I count down to zero. Can you
do that?"

Lucifer Snidely replied, "I can do that!"

So, the astronaut started counting backward, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2
1 0"

The rocket motors sounded like thunder as the space ship took off. "Why are we going so slowly?!" asked Lucifer Snidely. "Because that's how fast this space ship goes." Replied the astronaut. "Can't you go any faster?" asked Lucifer Snidely. "Well, yes," replied the astronaut, "we COULD sling-shot around the planet Venus. That will get us there twice as fast." Lucifer Snidely pushed a thick stack of one hundred dollar bills into the hands of the astronaut and said "Then do it!" The astronaut replied, "But that will mean that you will have to push the GO button two more times." Lucifer Snidely replied, "I can do that!" So, the astronaut started counting backward, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0"
The rocket motors sounded like thunder as the space ship changed directions and headed toward Venus. A short time later, the astronaut said, "Now, as soon as we go by Venus, you need to push the button again to sling-shot to Mercury." Then the astronaut started counting backward, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0"
The rocket motors sounded like thunder as the space ship swooped around Venus and headed toward Mercury. A short time later, they arrived at Mercury. "Now we need to slow down and stop," the astronaut said and started counting backward, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0"
The rocket motors sounded like thunder as the space ship slowed down and landed gently on the planet Mercury. "We're there." said the astronaut. Lucifer Snidely jumped out of his chair, pushed open the door and was about to jump out. But instead, he threw his hands into the air and shouted to the astronaut. "You fool! You landed on the wrong planet!" "No," replied the astronaut, "This IS the planet Mercury." Lucifer Snidely shouted, "Then where is the mercury?!" "The mercury?" asked the astronaut, "You think the planet mercury is made of the metal mercury?" "Well, of course! Where is all the heavy metal?! replied Snidely. The astronaut replied, "The planet mercury wasn't named MERCURY because it's made of mercury. It was named after a Greek god. All the planets were named after Greek gods." Lucifer Snidely sat down and cried. "Take me home." So, the astronaut pushed some switches and pulled some levers and started counting backward, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0"
The rocket motors sounded like thunder as the space ship took off. To change direction and head toward the planet Venus, the astronaut started counting backward, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0"
The rocket motors sounded like thunder as the space ship changed directions and headed toward Venus. A short time later, the astronaut said, "Now, as soon as we go by Venus, you need to push the button again to sling-shot back to earth. Then the astronaut started counting backward, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0"
The rocket motors sounded like thunder as the space ship swooped around Venus and headed toward the earth. A short time later, they arrived at Earth. "Now we need to slow down and land," the astronaut said and started counting backward, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0"
The rocket motors sounded like thunder as the space ship slowed down and landed gently on the earth. "We're home." said the astronaut. When Lucifer Snidely got on his jet plane, his pilot asked, "How was your trip to Mercury?" Lucifer Snidely replied, "I paid stacks of hundred dollar bills to an astronaut, but all I got was dirt. Mercury is made of dirt, not mercury! Bah! Humbug!" 2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: bob@bobsnook.org
BACK